“If you will…”
I will. I will. I promise.
Please for the love of gawd stop saying “if you will” after every damn sentence, if you will. You are causing an unnatural rot to form in my brain, if you will. I want to eject vomit from my throat, if you will.
Please?
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9 Responses to ““If you will…””
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Who says that? Get Deezo to assault them with a jai alai scoop or something.
pre-sales department of a software vendor… not Deezo. I would be happy to buy him a jai alai scoop to exact revenge on my behalf, though.
This might also be a good secondary use for the aluminum wiffle ball bat.
“If you will” is a sales guys way of saying please believe the bullshit I am feeding you because if you ask a question here I am screwed.
Plus it is a more elegant way to transition sentences.
I never say “If you will” in a sales presentation, I always say N’ Shit…and end most sentences with Muh fucka…This is accepted well in both the healthcare and financial markets I sell to.
“Well Mr. CIO, Our distributed check capture solution creates an EDI file in any output format you would like and goes to your data exchange for processing N’ shit, it’s better than others because you can tie the images together through dynamic indexing N’ shit and seamlessly inject the images into any document repository….Muh fucka!”
It is a nice transition. Maybe twice in a day. If you say it twice per spoken paragraph, we have a problem.
Your transitions would have been a welcome relief, yesterday, n’shit, muh fuckah.
I think i stole it from deezo, but I overuse ‘word is born’
“well the PCS solvent tank sensor was erronious, so i swapped the wiring to the intrinsic barriers and received the same error in the other solvent tank, if you will. After replacing the intrinsic barrier, nothing occured n’shit so i raised the temperature setpoint by .6°C. Word is born”
There is no better terminal puncutation in the business world than WORD IS BORN…Seriously who can argue or object to someone who finishes a pitch with WORD IS BORN?
Um, I may be old n’ shit, but I don’t understand what “word is born” means, muh fuckas.
Word is Born (Wu-r-d IS Bor-en)-It means that the statement you have just made is a new and important idea. It has been in common usage at least since the release of the aptly titled Run DMC song “Word is Born” released in 1990.
That explains it. In 1990 I was way more focused on Skid Row and Warrant than I was on Run DMC. Had they not done that video with Aerosmith, there’s a good chance I wouldn’t have known who Run DMC was until last year’s debut of “Run’s House” on MTV.