I am a geek
I will be watching these two pages for more details in the coming months. Please no Shia LaBeuf. Please no Shia LaBeuf. Please no Shia LaBeuf.
Sharkwater Documentary Beatiful and Sad
A week or so ago, Jen and I watched the Sharkwater documentary. It is about a conservationist who is concerned about the shark fin trade. Sharks are fished and hunted and killed for their fins. The fins are like pieces of gold in Asian countries where Shark Fin Soup is not only a delicacy, but a culturally significant status symbol. As a result, the shark populations around the world are being ravaged in order to fill the demand for soup, and thus, money.
The documentary was brilliant. It had plenty of underwater scenes, and all the things you would expect. It also had a storyline where the filmmaker joins up with a rogue boat that goes after poachers’ boats with battering rams, and water canons. We have the rogue boat racing a coast guard to international waters so that they could avoid prosecution. It is more than your average documentary.
I am not a PETA member or anything like that, but this film will leave you wanting to help conserve sharks. I was on board relatively early in the film, but there was one scene in particular that just enraged me to the point that I wanted to run out and do something right away. You see the poachers catch sharks, pull them on the boat, and de-fin the sharks by hacking at their still-alive bodies with knives. After they remove anything resembling cartilage on the shark, they push the still-moving, breathing, soon-to-be carcass back overboard so that a completely immobilized shark can float to the bottom of the ocean to die a paralyzing death.
Watching from an underwater camera, we see one such shark float to the bottom of the ocean to die, but his eyes are still moving. I am getting goosebumps right now as I type it and it has been a couple weeks since I saw the movie.
Is M. Night Shyamalan Serious With The Happening?
M. Night Shyamalan has fallen a long way since his debut, The Sixth Sense. He was moving along nicely with Unbreakable, Signs before falling slightly with The Village. Then he hit the wall with Lady in the Water according to most critics. If you look at his career on RottenTomatoes.com it really tells the tale.
The Sixth Sense had an 84% approval rating. Unbreakable had 68% and then Signs jumped back up to 74%. The Village dropped down to 43% before Lady in the Water bottomed Mr. Shyamalan out at a horrendous 24%. Bottomed out, that is, until Shyamalan’s latest, The Happening starring Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel brings him to an all-new low of 20%.
So, exactly how bad is The Happening? The answer to that question depends. It depends, because I have a theory.
But first, The Happening really was that bad. It seemed disjointed. The performances were uneven and bad. It was tough, if not impossible, to feel anything for the characters. The development was nonexistent. Wahlberg and Deschanel are a married couple that has lost their spark. We are not quite sure why. We never really find out. All the strife that these characters have between them seems false at best, as if it was a horribly planted storyline used just to augment a standard sci-fi, bio-thriller storyline that serves as the base for The Happening.
Trust me. It was bad. This is where my theory comes in.
I think M. Night Shyamalan was mocking the concept of the summer movie. I know this is an outlandish claim, but follow with me for a second.
Mark Wahlberg seemed almost to be doing an impression of his character from Boogie Nights. Of course he was doing so with a different character - a high school science teacher - but the style and mannerisms of the Dirk Diggler character. He was sweet, innocent and seemed almost a little dumb or simple. I truly think it had to be a put-on. I have seen Mark Wahlberg act, and this wasn’t him trying to act well.
It didn’t stop with Mark Wahlberg. The tertiary characters in the movie seemed like cliched plants. It seemed as if Shyamalan was putting characters in to try and reference other over-the-top shlock-fests that pepper our movie screens every summer. The crazy old lady was a cross-reference between Tim Robbins’ character in War of the Worlds and the old lady who led the rebellion in Stephen King’s The Mist. The military policeman who was so innocent that he replaced his curses with “cheese and crackers” was impossible to believe as a real attempt at characterization.
That is the conclusion I came to. The Happening had to be a parody of summer movies. M. Night Shyamalan is defending himself against critics who have tried to sink him in his last two films. I get the feeling that Shyamalan feels punished for trying something new and different. His response? You want a typical movie? Shyamalan seems to be saying, “Fine. I will take all those awful, conventional things that people flock to see every summer and I will make a mockery of them.”
Either that, or Shyamalan has made the world’s largest, steaming, heaping pile of garbage and dragged Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel along with him for the ride. Unless your last name is Shyamalan, there probably is no way of knowing for sure. As of now, I will just assume Shyamalan is purposefully sending a message to critics.
The only other alternative is to contribute to that minuscule 20% approval rating from RottenTomatoes.com.
John Adams Stinks, But I Watch It Anyway
Since I haven’t written much lately, here is a rambling unedited post that could have been a review on a better day.
Jen and I have been watching John Adams on HBO starring Paul Giamatti and Laura Linney, both of whom I like. But, for some reason, despite needing to watch every episode, I am generally unimpressed by this mini-series. It looks great. The history is interesting. I think the writing is over the top. I understand that John Adams was a lawyer, a thinker, and all that, but it still seems a bit much. It feels to me like it was written in a booze and drug-fueled orgy of Ken Burns and Aaron Sorkin. The perfect sentences and unbelievable conversations fly as if every pre-revolutionary person had a sense of perfect balance in dialog.
I guess I could have just stopped after saying it is unbelievable.
And still, with all that being said, I am drawn to watching it because I find the history so fascinating. Paul Giamatti does a good job when he isn’t over-acting and over-delivering the lines that have been written. Laura Linney’s performance feels the same.
The bottom line for me is that if I was in high school and I was watching this, it would be the greatest movie ever, primarily because I would be watching it in school. Because I am not in school, all I can say is that it is entertaining, and interesting, while mildly annoying in spots.
I guess the fact that it I am comparing it to Band of Brothers because they were both HBO historical dramas doesn’t help John Adams’ case either. Adams wants to be as good, moving and as important as Brothers, but there is just no way to pull it off. Maybe it is because we have so much more distance away from John Adams’ era in the historical timeline.
Then again, maybe it is just not as good.
Will Ferrell Stars in The Landlord
Apparently everyone in the world has seen this video already, but nobody ever linked me to it. Well, I will go out on a limb and figure that I can turn some people onto a website called “Funny Or Die.” Will Ferrell makes videos for the site like this one.
Seth Rogen Brings Real Heat to Kevin Smith Flick
Kevin Smith has written a new movie and it is set to start filming sometime in January in Pittsburgh, where he previously filmed Dogma. I am a die-hard Kevin Smith fan as many people are too, and my expectations for Zack and Miri are through the roof. Smith has signed on Seth Rogen to play Zack and Elizabeth Banks to play Miri. Smith couldn’t ask for a better situation than this one. Rogen is absolutely on the top of his game right now and he will bring a level of heat and marketability (not to mention the potentially hilarious performance) to this Smith vehicle unlike anything that Smith has ever seen for any of his movies in his entire career.
Of course, Smith had Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez on board for Jersey Girl. There were no two bigger celebrities in the world when they made that movie. But if you remember correctly, Jersey Girl had the unfortunate timing of having to follow one of the most trod upon movies in the history of cinema, Gigli, starring the two biggest pieces of his huge cast. As a result, the general movie-going public didn’t even bother to give Jersey Girl much of a chance. This was especially ridiculous considering the movie was really about Affleck’s character interacting with his father, played by George Carlin, his soon-to-be girlfriend, played by the impossibly cute Liv Tyler, and his daughter, played by Raquel Castro.
But now, there is no doubt about it. Short of Seth Rogen entering a media circus-type situation where he dates Lindsay Lohan, does a bunch of coke and goes to jail, he will undoubtedly bring some serious, legitimate Hollywood heat to Kevin Smith’s new comedy. Let’s look at Rogen’s last few movies.
Although The 40 Year-Old Virgin was a Steve Carell project, Seth Rogen’s performance didn’t hurt that movie at all. It’s worldwide gross was over $177 million according to Box Office Mojo. After that, Seth Rogen produced and starred in Knocked Up which grossed $217 million worldwide. Finally, he wrote and played in Superbad this summer which has grossed over $167 million worldwide, and that doesn’t include DVD numbers as the release date is set for December 4th.
That box office track record would have any director creaming their collective shorts. But the news is even rosier for Kevin Smith and his Weinstein Company backers. When Smith makes a movie, the budget doesn’t look big compared to the catering bill of a Michael Bay production. Smith is reportedly going to make Zack and Miri on a budget of $25 million. If Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are anywhere close to decent in this movie, they will easily be able to make everyone involved supremely rich. Or even more supremely rich in the case of most Hollywood types.
Regardless, Kevin Smith got his man and he potentially has a gateway into the post Silent Bob movie directing career.
Kevin Smith Protests His Own Movie
This story became legendary after Kevin Smith talked about it on his Q&A DVD An Evening With Kevin Smith and now there is proof. Don’t think that this was a fake. This actually happened. Kevin Smith showed up to a protest for his movie in New Jersey, held a sign, refused to identify himself to reporters and wasn’t identified by any of the protesters. How is it that the person who writes, directs and stars in his own movie isn’t recognized by protesters? They never bother to watch the movie that they are protesting to see if it is something they find offensive.
Here is the news coverage of the event and then listen to Kevin Smith’s Q&A section about the episode.
Once The Movie
I dragged my feet getting out to my local indie theater to see this movie and now it isn’t showing anywhere around here. I am waiting for it to come out on DVD, but it doesn’t have any sort of release date anywhere that I can find. Until I get a chance to see it, I do have the music. Watch this movie trailer / video for the song “Falling Slowly” and tell me you wouldn’t be interested in seeing the movie. What a beautiful song.
The Worst Movie Scenes Ever
Different categories and a lot of bad scenes.
Worst Movie Scenes Ever - Watch more free videos
Top Ten Cheesiest Movie Moments
The debate is raging over at ClevelandSportsCurse. No, we don’t only talk about sports over there. We are discussing this list from this website.
Some of the suggested moments on our board are:
- James Van Der Beek in Varsity Blues telling his father “I don’t want your life.”
- Adam Sandler in Big Daddy calling his dad to the stand to testify that Sandler is a good father
- Stallone’s speech in Rocky IV that ended communism
- Annakin screaming “Nooooooooooo” when he finds out that Padme died
- Julie Andrews and Raven doing a hip-hop fueled duet in The Princess Diaries 2
Anyway, gimme some of your favorites.
Sideblog 
- FreeTheAirwaves.org Tuesday, 19 August 2008, 7:51 am
Google has a vested business interest in this project, but I am rooting for them anyway. Google wants to take that unused fuzzy space between TV channels and broadcast internet signals all over the. […] - Browns vs. Giants - Preseason Game 2 Live Blog at WFNY Monday, 18 August 2008, 4:19 pm
The nice guys over at Waiting for Next Year are going to be live-blogging their event in a chat room over at their site. I am a geek, and will be joining them. Come on over. - Dan Gilbert is My Hero Sunday, 10 August 2008, 5:46 am
Cleveland Cavaliers owner on all the LeBron James rumors, ”The reason this thing is where it’s at,” Gilbert said, ”is that we’ve got a bunch of bored, East Coast sports writers who have noth. […] - LeBron to Europe? I Don’t Think So Thursday, 7 August 2008, 4:22 am
So, while the major media continues to plot LeBron’s departure from Cleveland, there is a sane voice out there letting everyone know how unlikely the most outlandish scenarios truly are. - Top Gun 2???!?!?!??!?!? Wednesday, 23 July 2008, 5:50 am
According to reports, the plot outline is, (wait for it) “The idea is Maverick is at the Top Gun school as an instructor — and this time it is he who has to deal with a cocky new female pilot.” - Be Afraid Utah Tuesday, 22 July 2008, 7:26 am
Carlos Boozer is a snake and one of the most dishonorable people in professional sports history. I guess I am not over this just yet. - How much you wanna bet… Thursday, 3 July 2008, 9:18 pm
That this 4-day work week will actually increase the amount of gasoline that these employees will be using? Instead of commuting to work, they will now be going to the grocery store, going to do som. […] - In-Car DVD Players are Stupid Thursday, 26 June 2008, 10:15 am
At least they will be when we get a load of in-car wifi!!!!! (I am such a geek.) - George Carlin is Gone Monday, 23 June 2008, 4:34 am
I once bet a guy in college that I could watch a George Carlin special on HBO without laughing. I did it, but it wasn’t at all easy. There is going to be a void left by Carlin dying. - Accepted Behaviors Tend to Increase Thursday, 19 June 2008, 12:15 pm
If you become too accepting of a condition that you really don’t want to encourage, you might just end up with unintended consequences.
