Democrats vs. Republicans in a Mortgage Business Beatdown Competition

September 29, 2008 · Filed Under Politics, Television

Well, it appears that a $700 billion dollar bailout deal has at least been struck in principal. What remains are the devilish details. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to get this idea in print in time for it to be undertaken by the U.S. Government, but I feel it would have been perfect.

I think we should have had a Democrat vs. Republican competition. Turn it into a transparent reality show. Red vs. Blue.

On one side, the Republicans get to have their team and $350 billion. On the other side, the Democrats have their team and their $350 billion. They are competing to bail out the industry by buying assets and doing their best to turn a profit. On the line are bragging rights and lots and lots of dollars for the American public. Each side will always say that their ideas are the best. The only way to know for sure is to put them side by side and see how it all works out.

I won’t pretend to know all the intricate details of how this competition will work. I was a finance major in college, but I don’t work in the industry so the finite details are beyond my knowledge level currently. What I do know is that in a lot of cases, we have bad mortgages that are valued very very low. Probably even lower than the actual asset values. The supply and demand dictates that something is only worth what someone will pay for it, but if someone out there was capable of incurring the holding costs, say with $350 billion worth of bailout money on loan from the American people, I am convinced that there is money to be made.

So someone get Mark Burnett, Simon Fuller, The Ghost of Merv Griffin, and Howie Mandel on the phone, because I have an idea that is going to change the world. $700 billion dollars is going out, and we need to find out who can bring the most back! And any losses that are incurred will be supplemented by the TV revenue as we put our dirty laundry out there for all the world to see in fabulous HD. Let’s translate it into at least 25 languages to make sure we draw profits from around the world. I am predicting a home run.

Now this is what I call taking lemons and making lemonade.

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