Paul Byrd Scandal: A Bulleted List
October 21, 2007 · Filed Under Sports
I wrote about how there is no curse on the Cleveland Indians and no sooner do I hit save, and publish it to the web, when news comes out of the ongoing steroid investigation that Indians’ pitcher Paul Byrd allegedly spent over $24,000 on HGH and needles. I don’t know what to say about this, but I figured I would throw a bullet point list together to see what I can come up with.
Paul Byrd Bullet Point List; Now Featuring Occasional Sarcasm!
- There is no way that the Fenway faithful have enough time to get their glue and glitter together in time to make Paul Byrd a major topic of their signs at tonight’s game.
- In all fairness to Paul Byrd, how much of that $24,000 + was spent on shipping? We can’t possibly count all those shipping charges against him. So, wasn’t it really closer to $23,000?
- I am sure that everybody has suspected Paul Byrd of using performance enhancers for a while now. I mean, what with his 82 MPH fastball, it is clear to see that he is using something.
- I am sure the Fenway faithful will take it easy on Byrd. It isn’t like they chanted “Wife Beater” at Will Cordero when he was a member of the Cleveland Indians a mere two years after they cheered him on as a member of their beloved club.
- I am sure that having a key member of the Indians’ playoff run ensconced in a drug scandal hours before game 7 starts won’t have too negative an effect on the relatively young Indians’ team.
- On the bright side, this distraction will surely take the heat off of Travis Hafner who has been hitless in the CLEANUP SPOT over the past four games.
- I wonder if this means that Paul Byrd won’t be available to pitch a few innings out of the bullpen if Jake Westbrook falters as the starter this evening?
- Paul Byrd is known for his self-deprecation about how he has to deal junk to get anyone out because he doesn’t have any zip left on any of his pitches. I have no idea how to even think about those jokes that he tells about himself now.
- I wonder if Paul Byrd knows Rodney Harrison. Is it like an unofficial fraternity of degenerates?
- Even if the Indians find a way to win tonight’s game against the Red Sox the Indians will probably have to find someone to pitch in the fourth spot of the rotation. I can’t imagine that the Indians would want this kind of distraction hanging over their heads even though the transgressions allegedly occurred before Byrd was ever a member of the Indians.
- Don’t you just love following sports in Cleveland?
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I understand that Wedge is loyal to his players, but loyal to a fault doesn’t work if Hafner — taking up a place as the third batter, by the way, not clean-up (which means that he’s up in the 1st inning of every game) — isn’t hitting. Billy Martin benched Reggie Jackson when Jackson wasn’t hitting in the play-offs back in the late 70’s. And Hafner isn’t as talented as Reggie.
Are the Indians trying to win or make players feel good about themselves.
Sorry for my slip up there Bill. You are right. Hafner was in the three hole. I still think of him as a cleanup hitter because he started the season there, but you are right. Anyway, hopefully Wedge learned some things in this playoff run. He really needed to shake up this lineup after three games of horrible production. That starts with Hafner and he really should have just sat Travis down, because he couldn’t hit anything at all.