FilteringCraig

Is it possible for me to make an entire week disappear? Is this what happens when these people are left to their own devices? Everyone is relieved that Bucky is still around this week, because he is obviously the next one to go home.

Here is a rundown of the catastrophe that was last night on American Idol.

Lisa Tucker started the show off with veritable flat-fest. She butchered Kelly Clarkson’s hit song. Kelly Clarkson may be a manufactured girl from the show, but she has some seriously amazing range and ability. Should have stayed away Lisa.

Ace Young overstepped his bounds too. You may not like Train, but Pat Monahan will blow away most lead singers in America with his singing ability. And another thing. The judges praised him for working the camera early on in this competition, but his longing stare into the camera after performances is becoming something of a parody. I expect it to hit SNL any day now. Stop it.

Mandisa tried to take us to church, but I have been saying the same thing since I was about 12 years old. “I don’t want to go to church and you can’t make me.” Simon called it indulgent. For those of you who want to know exactly what he means, he is saying that not only was she singing something out of church, but it isn’t even that well-known a song. Even if people wanted to get it, if they haven’t heard the song before, it is considerably more difficult.

Chris Daughtry talked about last week’s performance of Live’s version of Johnny Cash’s “Walk the Line” and then destroyed any goodwill he might have garnered by performing a spot on version of Creed. If I can say one thing in support, it is that “What If” (inexplicably) was a huge hit. It is fairly recognizable, but at the same time, he really tested the world with a screamy type of song. He should have done something by Staind or maybe rocked up a song that doesn’t rock already.

Katharine McPhee did something by Christina Aguilera. Everyone seemed to think it was ok, but it is a song that I don’t know. It is really hard for me to figure out whether they are doing a good job or not if I don’t know the song. This is why they need to pick better songs. If she does “Beautiful,” then I can say without a doubt whether she is good or not because that song was everywhere when it was out.

Paris is an amazing singer and looks to be coming into her own as an overall performer, but she needs to choose a Beyonce song that more of us can say we have heard. I don’t hate Beyonce, but I certainly don’t own her album, so I don’t know anything that didn’t hit the really mainstream radio.

Kellie did a song with one of the worst titles in the history of a genre of music that gave us “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” (I get enraged internally every time I even have to acknowledge the fact that there is a song in the world with that title.) Anyway, she did “Suds in the Bucket” which was actually an alright song to sing, except that it forced Kellie to do that country music thing where she occasionally keeps time by clapping her hip with her hand. Blech.

Taylor Hicks sounded good, but I have no idea what song that was.

Elliott Yamin was also ok, but didn’t do himself any favors by being underneath the song arrangement the whole time. No room to shine on that hit.

Bucky is going home. Tim McGraw was probably looking over at Faith Hill during that performance thinking, “I can’t blame the kid for wanting to sing the song by the guy who got Faith, but this kid sucks.”

The only chance that Bucky has to stay is if Lisa gets it instead. Either way, I figure those are the next two contestants to pack their bags.

Hopefully next week’s theme will keep these people on track. Everyone loves a trainwreck every once in a while, but the show has to be better than this for me to continue to care about watching these kids compete.