FilteringCraig

Since I got my new computer a few months ago, I haven’t had a printer. My new Dell PC doesn’t have a printer port. Just the massive amount of USB 2.0 ports to connect all your peripherals and input devices. There are workarounds. I could have installed a printer port in the PC, or I could have gotten a “Printer Port to USB Connector” which I have seen around the Internet, but I decided that my Brother printer was done. It is old, huge, ugly and does only one thing. Print.

So, I did some research and went to Staples after work to pick out a brand new “all-in-one” device that would scan, copy, print, and not look quite so similar to the beige monstrosity that Brother crafted so many years ago. What I wanted was an Epson CX 4200 for about $100. They were out of them. What I got was an HP 2575 for about $150 with a rebate. I have dealt with HP products in the past and you go in knowing that the whole toner issue is going to suck, but that’s ok. I don’t print too much other than some set lists for my band and other small documents.

I picked out this machine, decided to buy it and that is when things started going down hill quickly. As I was walking up to the register, the salesman informed me that I would need to buy a USB cable. Now, can someone tell me why HP wouldn’t include all the cables you need to connect the printer to your computer? Is this to cater to the market of people who just want to use it as a standalone device printing from their memory cards, digital cameras and making ultra slow copies? Nope. Couldn’t possibly be that. They must be trying to cut whatever costs possible in order to keep that sticker shock under control. What it is, is annoying.

Fine. I bought the USB cable and take the all-in-one machine home and get it all set up. Great. I removed the 2347 pieces of tape that HP puts on the device for packing. I installed the oh-so-small ink cartridges which are designed to be replaced as many damn times as possible in the “razor / razor blades” model that HP uses to make money. I went to see if the PC could install the printer/scanner without the help of the HP CD and I found out quickly that it could not.

OK. I will put in the CD.

I put in the CD and hit the install buttons and get it all set up to go. Then a window opens up with two status bars telling me at what percentage the install process is. The top one appears to be downloading additional pieces and parts to install on my PC. “OK” I thought, “This isn’t really anything out of the ordinary nowadays.” Then, I glanced to the right to see a number and then KBps which will tell me how “quickly” the software is downloading from HP. 6.5 KBps. There is no way that that is going to work for me. Too slow. I have a cable modem, so I loaded up HP’s website and saw that there were a couple different download options, so I played it safe and downloaded both. I ran the larger file and it did some unpacking of some kind and then nothing happened. It didn’t give me an install prompt after unpacking those files. The other program brought up the downloading applet again.

What I did notice while I had the HP install program open, was that the incredibly slow download rate started to speed up when I was downloading the files from HP’s server. For whatever reason, if I opened up the pipes to HP to get those files from HP’s FTP server, then the download manager started showing a better rate of download. So for the rest of last night, I was continually over-writing those same huge files and re-downloading them in hopes of getting the HP install program to finish downloading the files that my computer needed so that I could use this infernal “all-in-one” 2575 printer/scanner machine.

As of 11 pm I had nothing to report. Nothing but baby steps had been taken. As any good computer guy who has downloaded large files from the Internet can tell you, the only thing to do is to let it work over night while you are sleeping. Surely, no matter what monumental task your computer needs to complete, it will be able to finish it over the course of your nightly snooze-fest.

I woke up this morning to nothing but my own impending rage as the status bar hadn’t moved an inch and the program had stopped downloading the ginormous file that it started the night before.

Mom, if you are still reading this, please click away.

FUCK HP. FUCK THEM RIGHT IN THEIR COLLECTIVE EAR.

I did all I could to keep from exploding. I tried work-arounds. I tried creative solutions. NONE OF THEM WORKED. MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST BURN A COUPLE MORE CD’S AND GIVE ME ALL I NEED TO RUN YOUR STUPID PRODUCT WHEN I PAY GOOD MONEY TO BRING IT INTO MY HOME!

FTWAHSDF:KLJLKJDFS

OK, I feel a little bit better now. And just so you know I have grown up a little bit in the last ten years, I will not take this out on the Staples employees. They are not at fault here. I know this. I am going to tell them how badly HP sucks, but I will not attack them.

So, does anyone have a recommendation for which company I should go with other than HP?

The Cleveland Cavaliers wrapped up a playoff spot after last night’s win against a tempestuous Mavericks team that was so embarassed during the third quarter that they resorted to thuggery. The Cavs put up 35 points in the third to Dallas’ ice cold 16 and that is when the hard fouls started coming. DJ Mbenga came in the game and seemed to start swiping at people almost as if that is what his instructions might have been. And if you think that I am making it up, Lebron James ended up being the subject of two pretty hard flagrant fouls, so the refs must have been on board too.

Regardless, the Cavs are in the playoffs for the first time since 1998. While they have been streaky, the Cavs have played well this year. Their prospects for the playoffs aren’t that huge. If the playoffs were to start today, the Cavs would play the Wizards. I would give them a slightly better than 50-50 chance of getting out of the first round. They have the ability to win a series or two, but they would have to be streaking the right way. They are a well-rounded team with pretty good depth, but they have lapses where they don’t play solid enough defense and turn the ball over on offense.

One thing that could definitely have an effect on the playoff chances is the return of Larry Hughes. Hughes has been out since early January when he had finger surgery. He had a second surgery in mid-February and all indications are that he will miss the rest of the regular season, but could be back just in time for the playoffs. Depending on what his level of play is after such a long layoff, this could be great news for the Cavs who also strengthened their team at the trade deadline with the addition of Ronald “Flip” Murray from the Seattle Sonics. It would certainly be nice to have a rotation including Damon Jones, Eric Snow, Flip Murray, Donyell Marshall, and Larry Hughes.

Either way, it is just nice to be in the playoffs. I won’t say that it wouldn’t be disappointing to get knocked out in the first round, because it would. But the Cavs have to get there the first time before they can think about advancing. I am not naive enough to think that anyone in the east has a great chance to take down the Pistons, but stranger things have happened. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself talking about the Pistons.

It’s just nice to have the playoffs back in Cleveland.

Is it possible for me to make an entire week disappear? Is this what happens when these people are left to their own devices? Everyone is relieved that Bucky is still around this week, because he is obviously the next one to go home.

Here is a rundown of the catastrophe that was last night on American Idol.

Lisa Tucker started the show off with veritable flat-fest. She butchered Kelly Clarkson’s hit song. Kelly Clarkson may be a manufactured girl from the show, but she has some seriously amazing range and ability. Should have stayed away Lisa.

Ace Young overstepped his bounds too. You may not like Train, but Pat Monahan will blow away most lead singers in America with his singing ability. And another thing. The judges praised him for working the camera early on in this competition, but his longing stare into the camera after performances is becoming something of a parody. I expect it to hit SNL any day now. Stop it.

Mandisa tried to take us to church, but I have been saying the same thing since I was about 12 years old. “I don’t want to go to church and you can’t make me.” Simon called it indulgent. For those of you who want to know exactly what he means, he is saying that not only was she singing something out of church, but it isn’t even that well-known a song. Even if people wanted to get it, if they haven’t heard the song before, it is considerably more difficult.

Chris Daughtry talked about last week’s performance of Live’s version of Johnny Cash’s “Walk the Line” and then destroyed any goodwill he might have garnered by performing a spot on version of Creed. If I can say one thing in support, it is that “What If” (inexplicably) was a huge hit. It is fairly recognizable, but at the same time, he really tested the world with a screamy type of song. He should have done something by Staind or maybe rocked up a song that doesn’t rock already.

Katharine McPhee did something by Christina Aguilera. Everyone seemed to think it was ok, but it is a song that I don’t know. It is really hard for me to figure out whether they are doing a good job or not if I don’t know the song. This is why they need to pick better songs. If she does “Beautiful,” then I can say without a doubt whether she is good or not because that song was everywhere when it was out.

Paris is an amazing singer and looks to be coming into her own as an overall performer, but she needs to choose a Beyonce song that more of us can say we have heard. I don’t hate Beyonce, but I certainly don’t own her album, so I don’t know anything that didn’t hit the really mainstream radio.

Kellie did a song with one of the worst titles in the history of a genre of music that gave us “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.” (I get enraged internally every time I even have to acknowledge the fact that there is a song in the world with that title.) Anyway, she did “Suds in the Bucket” which was actually an alright song to sing, except that it forced Kellie to do that country music thing where she occasionally keeps time by clapping her hip with her hand. Blech.

Taylor Hicks sounded good, but I have no idea what song that was.

Elliott Yamin was also ok, but didn’t do himself any favors by being underneath the song arrangement the whole time. No room to shine on that hit.

Bucky is going home. Tim McGraw was probably looking over at Faith Hill during that performance thinking, “I can’t blame the kid for wanting to sing the song by the guy who got Faith, but this kid sucks.”

The only chance that Bucky has to stay is if Lisa gets it instead. Either way, I figure those are the next two contestants to pack their bags.

Hopefully next week’s theme will keep these people on track. Everyone loves a trainwreck every once in a while, but the show has to be better than this for me to continue to care about watching these kids compete.

(an excerpt from the VH1 show “I Love the 2000’s” which hits the airwaves in 2026)

In the year 2006, Blogging achieved another infamous milestone on its way to becoming less of a phenomenon and more of a cliched annoyance. An unfunny comic appeared in the newspapers to try to capitalize. Acceptance in the mainstream, while a goal for the near term, eventually becomes the downfall of anything and everything that might once have been considered cool. Blogging eventually became the mental version of break dancing. As youths put away their cardboard dancefloors in the 80’s, people started closing up their hosting accounts in the late 2000’s.

Last night Jen and I decided to have some dinner at Pacific East which is a really great sushi place in Coventry. Some of you may be wondering what I am doing at a sushi restaurant because I don’t like seafood. Incidentally, they also have the best veggie sushi I have ever had.

Regardless, Jen and I had a nice dinner and then we decided to go check up on our new house, which is under construction.

So, we pulled up at 9 PM and got out of the car to go into the house. That is when I noticed my neighbor looking at us and walking toward the window. We haven’t met this neighbor yet, but the neighbors on the other side were really nice. So, I am getting ready to possibly wave as he is craning his neck to see us and is walking over toward his window. Then just as I am going to take a look over and wave, he pulls the blinds shut.

Really? Who gets caught looking, and then closes the blinds?

Then again, maybe Jen and I don’t want to know the guy who hasn’t taken his Christmas tree down by March 25th. No. Seriously. His Christmas tree is still up in his house, and he puts the lights on every night. Someone tell this guy to buy a lamp.

Jen says that we should take him a pie when we move in. I say we should stay away from the neighbor from The Burbs.

Other than the fact that it is one of the highest paying keywords in Google’s Adsense Advertising program?

Apparently this is such a high paying keyword because lawyers are looking for this condition in patients due to its connection with Asbestos. Apparently asbestos = lawyer goldmine. Check out some of the other terms and what people are willing to pay in order to get you to click over to their websites.

$54.33 mesothelioma lawyers
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$33.80 criminal defense attorney
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$31.60 mortgage refinance rate
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$31.24 best refinance
$30.14 register domain names
$29.86 medical malpractice lawyer

Lawyers and mortgages. That’s what it’s all about, I guess. The only thing that surprises me is that there are no keywords related to penis pills on here.

I never watch the results show, so I got the Kevin Covais news this morning from CNN.com. This kid had to go. I understand that his high school is almost done preparing for their spring musical, Little Shop of Horrors, and they need Kevin to go there and pretend he isn’t a loser while getting chomped on by a muppet plant.

Alright, I know that is a little bit harsh, but come on. This kid skated by on the novelty factor for too many weeks now. He just isn’t a polished singer and he lisps when he sings. The good news is that he is 16 and has the chance to figure out some things in the coming years. I am betting that once his 15 minutes runs out he will get sad and brooding for a while and start listening to rock music. A better thing couldn’t possibly happen to this kid. Listen to some good tunes, learn to play an instrument and give it a real shot.

Seriously, could any of you imagine what this kid’s first album would have been like? No? Well then he isn’t a possibility to be a winner on the show.

Now, on to Chris Daughtry. I still think he is the best singer on the show, but we need to get someone with some musical knowledge on this show. Randy Jackson, Simon, and of course, Paula, all got fooled this week by Chris Daughtry. They were flinging compliments around like he had just re-written Stairway to Freaking Heaven. Hasn’t anyone else in this world has heard of the band Live with albums like Mental Jewelry, Throwing Copper and Secret Samadhi? They already re-wrote I Walk the Line in the alternative rock way that Chris Daughtry performed the song. So, while I think Chris did a good job, let’s not get too crazy here. He was covering a cover version of the song just like he did last week with Higher Ground.

And honestly, doesn’t it bother anyone else that he was a fan of Higher Ground and didn’t know that the Red Hot Chili Peppers borrowed that song from Stevie Wonder?

I still think Chris is going to win, but if everyone would wake up a little bit, I would appreciate it. He is by far the best American Idol contestant this season, but he isn’t even close to displaying the kind of musicianship that many of the great band leaders in this country show on a daily basis. Lots of bands do cover songs every year and they do amazing things with them. Chris hasn’t done anything but cover the cover versions of songs that are already out there.

Good? Yes. Groundbreaking? Not a chance.

This is going to be an interesting case. Here we have a company, Google, in a highly competitive field with a need for secrecy surrounding their biggest asset. At the same time, they have become so dominant on the Internet that they are now a market maker or breaker for tons of online businesses that rely on their traffic. Here are the three money quotes from the article.

Google Inc.’s mysterious methods for ranking Web sites came under attack Friday in a lawsuit accusing the online search engine leader of ruining scores of Internet businesses that have been wrongfully banished from its index. …

KinderStart’s lawsuit alleges Google’s policing efforts have penalized Web sites that have done nothing wrong. To make matters worse, the suit alleges the banished sites can’t determine how they can restore their standings because the company doesn’t explain its actions. …

KinderStart said its traffic plunged by 70 percent after Google dropped it. At its peak, KinderStart’s visitors viewed more than 10 million Web pages per month, according to the suit. …

Obviously, I am not a legal expert, but I think that at minimum, Google needs to open a department in their company that handles some kinds of official statements to site owners who have been punished by the Google algorithm. While Google needs to protect the secrecy of their “special sauce,” they have a responsibility to the businesses that make real-world decisions based on the traffic generated from Google.

Google wanted to be a success and because their product was good, the world made them one. They have been the clear market leader in search. If they want to stay that way, they need to learn to cater to their increasingly visible and vocal customer base.

I don’t know if this is the kind of thing that can be mandated by the courts. I have no idea what this lawsuit will do. What I do know is that there are tons of sites that get punished every time Google changes its algorithms and a lot of them are not bad guys.

Everyone deserves the chance to play by the rules, but it is increasingly difficult to know if and when you are breaking them.

I knew going into this season of ‘The Sopranos’ on HBO that I was going to like that show. I have been on board for five seasons running now. Then I saw the previews for this new show about polygamy, called ‘Big Love.’ Last night I watched the second show of the season of ‘Big Love’ and I still don’t have a verdict as to whether or not I think this show will last.

The show has some good actors in the cast. Bill Paxton plays Bill Henrickson. (By the way, Bill Paxton should not be confused with Bill Pullman who played the President of the US in the Will Smith vehicle Independence Day) Paxton plays the busy husband with balls enough to have three wives. He and his large family live in Utah in three separate houses that are connected in the back yard. It is the perfect metaphor for polygamysts in Utah. The fronts of the houses really make it look like there are three completely separate domains. Only the view from the backyard — behind closed doors — can tell the real story.

Behind those closed doors, there are three wives. Barb, Nicki and Margene are played by Jeane Tripplehorne, Chloe Sevigny, and Ginnifer Goodwin, respectively. This is also the order that they came into the “family” and subsequently acts as the pecking order amongst the women. There are squabbles, but overall, everyone seems on-board with the lifestyle and believes in the ways of many women to one man.

And this also represents the most difficult task that I think the show will have. How is it that you convince the audience on TV that these women not only believe in polygamy, but make the audience care about the characters enough that they can accept the multiple wives as something more than just an abstract portrait that they are observing? In order for the show to be a success, they will have to accomplish this task, and I don’t know how well they will be able to convince a lot of the mainstream audiences in this country to accept this female to male ratio.

In the short-term they can attract an audience with the shock of the subject matter and by putting in lots and lots of sex. In the first two weeks, there has been no shortage of that. The women all have their allotted nights, and Paxton makes no waste of them by popping Viagra pills. And then, if nights weren’t enough, he creates controversy by having loud relations with Margene, and then getting “caught in the moment” with Nicki in Margene’s bed a day later.

This lack of discretion works to keep viewers in the short term because sex still sells, but at some point the inconsistency between this kind of activity and what you would normally expect from an ultra-pious sect of the Mormon religion will start to smell funny. As far as I can tell, while polygamists have lots and lots of children, it isn’t a tradition steeped in promiscuity. And this group of polygamists in the show is at least promiscuous.

For now, it looks like the show could last a while. The characters seem engaging and I want to find out more about this Henrickson family, their psyche, individually and collectively. I want to learn more about their kids who appear to range from the age of 16 or 17 all the way down to infancy. I want to find out about the old-fashioned sector of polygamy vs. the more progressive polygamists who moved off the “compound.” I want to find out about polygamy as it relates to mainstream mormons. Finally, I want to learn all this stuff in an entertaining, and believeable way.

That is a lot of ground to cover, but only time will tell if this is a real show that we want to watch for multiple seasons, or whether or not it should have been a mini-series of some kind. And finally, as more articles continue to come out about real-world polygamy, we will start to see just how seriously this show can be taken.

While there is nothing inherently funny in this story, the use of a Phil Collins song title in the article is goofy, awful and unfunny.

For now, they’ll go on living “Separate Lives.”

So, I want to use other Phil Collins song titles to create the worst of all possible song title tie-ins. Feel free to add your own if you have the Phil Collins chops.

I guess it was anything but a “Groovy Kind of Love”

They will be looking elsewhere for “Another Day In Paradise”

“Two Hearts” are now separated by pain and misunderstanding.

Apparently them staying together was “Against All Odds.”

What is that “In the Air Tonight?” The unmistakable smell of divorce.

I am sure in court we will get “Both Sides of the Story”

Phil Collins is now in search of an “Easy Lover”

She left after she discovered Phil’s “True Colors”

“Something Happened On the Way to Heaven”

Orianne decides it is time to “Dance into the Light”

“Doesn’t Anybody Stay Together Anymore”?

Phil’s lovelife has been turned “Inside Out”

She never said “Don’t Lose My Number”

I guess they just couldn’t “Hang in Long Enough”

I think Phil Collins is going to get “Sussudio”

Yes. This was a “Long Long Way to Go” for a joke.