Counting My Uncoolness

I left an unnecessarily mean comment on Deezo’s page making a joke about his use of “honey do” in reference to his to-do list for the week. It didn’t come off as funny. Just mean. (This post that I did in September is rather ironic in hindsight, though.) Deezo thinks I am trying to sit on some pedestal of coolness, and he might be right. So, I am going to try to give myself the same treatment that I give others.

Here are the things that I do that could and should easily be made fun of by others.

This is my apology to The Feezo because I didn’t mean to smash him quite the way I did. It sounded much more playful in my head. But I wronged him in his own comments.

• I eat string cheese in vast quanities even though I haven’t been 12 years old in more than 14 years.
• I watch Battlestar Galactica. I hide behind the fact that many critics have said this is a decent show, but the fact remains that it isn’t really all that far removed from Star Trek or Dungeons and Dragons. Where is my unusually many sided die?
• I have a cat. A lot of lonely and sad people have cats. I secretly wouldn’t mind having another cat but I wouldn’t let myself do it because I would feel sad in the eyes of others. Denying yourself something because of what others would think is the epitome of uncool.
• Somewhere by Barbra Streisand is a kickass song. I love the most popular singer with gay men and I love her singing a song from a musical. It’s true. I have the MP3, but I keep it off of my iPod so nobody will find it. To prove that I am not making this up, check the spelling of Barbra’s name. It looks wrong doesn’t it? It would be wrong in any other case, but she spells her first name differently. I know this. I suck.
• I say “word.” It might have been funny or ironic about 15 years ago, but I have held on to it and I won’t let it go. It is tired and totally uncool.
• I was once such a big fan of the Jim Rome show that I bought three t-shirts from his online store. I still have at least two of these shirts and I wear them. I was a fanboy of Jim Rome and I haven’t gotten rid of the shirts yet.
• I bought a copy of Legally Blond starring Reese Witherspoon because I hadn’t seen it yet and I wanted to. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a girlfriend to blame it on at the time. Instead of owning up to it, I claimed that Columbia House sent it to me and I didn’t feel like sending it back. I lied to deny my uncoolness.

This is not a complete list to be sure. I would appreciate it if all those of you who know me didn’t fill it in for me.

So, I know Deezo wanted to “squash it” like David Silver, but I figured I would fire off a list that would maybe knock me a few steps down on the coolness ladder that I attempted to climb.

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