Friday Five - Thinking about Celebs

Friday Five - Thinkin about Celebs - If you want to participate, answer the questions on your own site, or in the comments. Just make sure you let me know where you answered them and link back to here. I miss the Friday Five sometimes, so here it is.

1. If you could find out that one celebrity wets the bed, and you get to inform the world, which celebrity would it be?

I would love it if Brendan Fraser wet the bed. Especially since he basically only makes kids movies now. George of the Jungle, Looney Toons Live in Action, etc. I thought Fraser was going to be one of the best (School Ties anyone?) but instead he has continually stunk. He might as well not have the ability to control his bladder like a school child.

2. You get to take over for one celebrity, thus making him/her disappear forever, because frankly, you can just do their job better than they can. Who would it be?

I don’t even watch the show, but I am going with Ryan Seacrest from American Idol and that failed TRL ripoff that he tried to do. I don’t have too many delusions about being able to do celeb jobs better than many of them, but I know damn well that this moron can’t hold a candle to me in any department other than looking innocuous. If getting a show cancelled on The WB is part of the job description, I am a natural for this job.

3. If you could use a time machine to go and change one moment in celebrity (or a celebrity’s) history what would it be?

I am going to go back and take all the drugs away from Chris Farley. I know that Belushi was first and everything, but Farley was my generation’s Belushi and I want to see what he would have done, had he not O.D’d. Ok well maybe I will let him keep his bag of herb, but I am definitely taking the coke away from him.

4. Name one or more “celebrities” that are really non-celebrities in your mind, that you would like to ban from the front of all the lines at the parties, because their “fame” shouldn’t buy them a damn thing.

I really like That 70’s Show, but I am going to have to go with Wilmer Valderama who plays Fez. This Zero goes to all the good parties. He ruins girls like Mandy Moore and Lindsay Lohan, and all he has ever done was rip off Balki Bartokomous from Perfect Strangers. If Cousin Larry can’t be famous, then Balki can’t be either. Those are just the rules.

5. Alright, one nice question. If you could take one marginal celeb and pump them up to full-blown bangin-in-Paris-with-Tom-Cruise famous, who would it be?

I am going to go with Kristin Kreuk who plays Lana Lang on Smallville. She is a complete over-actor on this melodramatic show, but I just can’t stop watching. Plus there is something so exotic about the way she looks that I think she should be hugely famous kind of on the same path as a Catherine Zeta Jones before she became annoying with Cell Phone commercials.

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