Meetings about Meetings

February 23, 2005 · Filed Under Uncategorized 

After many meetings this week, I have a couple of observations.

1. The word is ETCETERA. It is not to be spoken EX-CETERA. Please be wary of this, especially if you plan on saying it more than 10 times in a presentation.

2. Replicative may or may not be a word depending on who you ask. It is listed in the dictionary, but it is highlighted in red in MS Word. If nothing else, there is probably a simpler word that you can use instead.

3. It doesn’t matter what you have to say, or how you explain it. If you look like Major Dad then I am going to spend the rest of your time speaking trying to stifle a laugh while your gruff voice and surly face gets funnier and funnier to the little mice running on wheels in my brain.

4. If, during a long-winded explanation of something, you insist on using the word “basically” over and over again, then basically, what I am saying is that no matter how, basically, you say whatever you are basically trying to say, it won’t seem all that, basically, basic. Basically, that is what I am trying to say. (basically)

5. No matter how much you want to impress your audience with the ease of use of your product, you should never, and I mean never, draw comparisons to the Ron Popeil Automated Spit with the catchphrase “Set it and Forget It!” unless you want to sell me something for a few easy installments of $19.95

6. If you use a three letter abbreviation to talk about a certain kind of technology that is offered and I, being a huge dork, don’t know what you are talking about, how on earth do you expect anyone in the world to have any idea what you are talking about? You can talk all day about the “XYZ” but if nobody knows what the hell that is, then you might as well just shut up.

7. Just because a system has some easy to read details that are somewhat reminiscent of a dashboard, doesn’t mean that we need the verb “dashboarding” in the English language to describe your latest creation.

Comments

3 Responses to “Meetings about Meetings”

  1. deezo feezo on February 23rd, 2005 4:47 pm

    I try to be the anti-salesman when I go on bigger appointments. I know the CIO’s and C level people I speak with have seen 1 million and 1 sales presentations. Thats why instead of ETCETERA I say N’Shit I also like to end sentences with word is born.

    In April I have a meeting with one of the largest credit unions in the state of California and I plan to say that we can help automate their signature capture process for commerical as well as personal loans to a security level that will satisfy MISMO by laws, and allow their mobile loan originators to
    inject their associated document images and indexes into their exisiting content management system.

    What I plan on saying is…Look here bitches, we got your herbie hancock on luck down N’shit…word is born.

  2. deezo feezo on February 23rd, 2005 4:50 pm

    By The Way, Major Dad sucked ass!

  3. kiddicus maximus on February 23rd, 2005 4:53 pm

    Et Cetera is actually two words. From the latin Et Cetera. Yea. Its not english, there’s no X, and your gripe about pronunciation gives my gripe about spelling merit.

    Only difference :
    English pronunciation (et-SET-er-uh)
    Latin pronunciation (et-keh-TARE-uh)

    either one is acceptable, but the Latin pronunciation will make you sound like a huge(r) dork. You have been warned.

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