The Effy’s - Dumbest Journalistic Moment
This is officially the first award of the Effy’s
Every year it is quite easy to fill this category. Either by sheer volume of newscasts or by sheer stupidity of the teleprompter puppet heads that are so pervasive on our news channels, we have many dumb moments in Journalism.
The Nominees are…
Dan Rather - This one is obvious. Rather used some memos, that we all are guessing that he secretly wanted to be true, in order to prove a story which hardly anyone refutes anyway. Bush was a crappy soldier. Umm. Well. Yeah. Duh. This just in, Rather is going to use fabricated memos to prove that Bush loves Jesus, has twins and is a white male who apparently failed his public speech course!
Bill O’Reilly - Bill O’Reilly is an arrogant annoying guy, but that alone is not good enough to get you an Effy. On the other hand, a sex scandal over phone calls with a fellow employee is salacious enough to get you on the list. Some of the steamier details of these phone calls included a loofa and some serious man touching while he talked to an ex-producer of the show. I guess that wasn’t a “no spin zone” and that wasn’t egg on his face.
Tom Brokaw - Although the end of the year was a triumphant retirement whirlwind tour across the network, there was a moment in which Brokaw could have been fined by the FCC. In a story where Brokaw’s stammering was quite prolific he accidentally said the word Bukkake which is certainly nothing that belongs in any new story unless it is about the Adult Video News awards. And no, the story had nothing to do with the map of Hawaii on anyone’s back.
Geraldo Rivera - Geraldo really didn’t do anything this year, but it JUST DOES NOT MATTER. He is a porn-stached zilch who does nothing but stain the earth that he inhabits. Did I mention that he has a porn-stache?
And the winner is…
Bill O’Reilly.
Now with an acceptance speech here is Bill O’Reilly.
“I would like to thank all those in the academy or whatever it is that votes for this award. I would like to thank my ex-producer and the check which I wrote to pay her off. I would like to thank Spanky the trouser snake, without whom I never would have been nominated. Finally, I would like to thank lawyers. Without them, I wouldn’t have an excuse to avoid talking about the controversy on my show. Last but not least, I would like to look toward the future because this award should be attainable every year. Whether I am suing Al Franken, being made an ass of at a book show, or putting “her ass” back in the word harass, I would like to think that I can pull it off every year. Like I did this year, by pulling it until it went off. Thanks!”
More awards to come here at the Effy’s. If you have any of your own please put them on your site and link back to this post.
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