FilteringCraig

It is now official that Butch Davis has been fired as head coach of the Cleveland Browns.

I think this had to be done, but I still don’t think Butch is a bad guy, or a bad coach. He was just a little too confident in his own abilities this time around. He wanted complete control of the franchise and it was probably stretching him too thin to make personnel decisions as well as coaching decisions.

He wasn’t a mastermind with the personnel, but he did some good things. Even though it hasn’t worked out, I think it was a good recognition that this team needed a new quarterback, and getting Jeff Garcia was a good idea. Sure it hasn’t been spectacular, but Garcia is a guy with a record of reasonable success. He certainly had a better track record than either Kelly Holcumb or Tim Couch.

Speaking of which, this was one of Butch Davis’ biggest blunders in Cleveland, and that was the QB controversy between Couch and Holcumb last year. I don’t blame him for questioning Couch’s abilities, but with a young guy like that, you either had to play him or cut him. Trying to keep him around as Kelly Holcumb’s backup was just a poor idea. And the circus continued into this year as Butch tried to trade him in the pre-season. The problem was that Couch was basically untradeable.

Speaking of trades, why couldn’t Butch get anything for Kevin Johnson? Why did he need to be cut in the middle of last season? Now with a depleted receiving corps, Kevin Johnson is catching passes in Baltimore. Sure, he isn’t the best receiver in the league, but he wasn’t the type of guy that you had to cut outright in the middle of the year. On top of that, look at what John Gruden did with Keyshawn Johnson in Tampa last year. He made him inactive and got what he could for him at the end of the year.

Finally, this brings me to the draft. Davis really didn’t draft all that well. Anthony Henry has been a bright spot, but Gerard Warren was bad. Jeremiah Pharms was a 5th rounder who was arrested shortly following the draft on charges that had been brought up well before the draft. Jeff Faine was a pretty good pick although probably too high at number 21 in the first round. Chaun Thompson has looked pretty good this year. William Green was a decent gamble even though it hasn’t worked out perfectly.

The 2004 draft appeared to be Butch’s shining moment. He still didn’t address the offensive line, but with Kellen Winslow Jr. and what appeared to be a good safety in Sean Jones, Butch had finally drafted some serious players. Until they both got hurt. Not Butch’s fault, but ultimately, the horrible performance of the team this year has to rest on his shoulders.

It appears that his stepping down was mutual, and that is that. No big deal really. I was already looking toward next season.

So, who is on the short list of future coaches here in Cleveland?

I am hoping for Jeff Fassell who did some good things with Kerry Collins and the Giants even though they were never that good.

Judging by the traffic logs here at the ole FC.com it is the time of year where people are looking to write their Christmas letters. Because people are illiterate, semi-retarded goons, sans originality, they have come to that “intranet thingie” to find out how to write a Christmas letter. This is where it goes down hill because they are arriving here at my wonderful catalog of nothingness.

I don’t know if any of you remember the post I did on Christmas letters last year, but it was a profane fisking. I wrote it on December 19th after intercepting one of these family Christmas letters.

Just imagine you came to the internet looking for some good advice as to how to write your family Christmas letter and you came to that posting. Do you think it convinced anyone that writing a letter like that is a bad idea? Did anyone say, “Hey wait a minute! If I write a family Christmas letter, then I am just a complete tool and people will think my entire family is nothing but simple-minded helmet wearers.”

If that is the case then maybe I have done a little bit of good here today.

If any of you receive a Christmas “state of the union” type of letter from someone this year, please forward it to me. I would love to see it and mock it.

Thanks,
FC

P.S. I will change the names to protect the innocent (and increase the hilarity.)

Being the Pop Culture guru that I am, I actually know who The Wiggles are. I don’t have any kids and I am not 5 years old so it really stands to reason that I shouldn’t know who they are. I am here to tell you they are the most dangerous thing to come out of Australia since the Gibb brothers founded the Bee Gees. More dangerous than Crocodile Dundee in New York. They are the nuclear bomb in the culture wars that rage silently around the world.

These four guys are threatening to create an entire generation of cheesy kids who will be receptive to all the horrible entertainment that comes out of Australia henceforth. The Wiggles are planting that seed in our children today.

With album titles like “Whoo hoo! Wiggly Gremlins!” and “Hoop-Dee-Doo It’s a Wiggly!” they are planning to pave the way for other forms of Australian “entertainment” to come rushing over our borders, not to mention our airwaves. But, this isn’t the first time that Australia has unleashed a scourge on our culture and I am quite positive it won’t be the last. They won’t rest until they take over altogether.

How else can you explain the aforementioned Bee Gees, Paul “Crocodile Dundee” Hogan, or Silverchair, Nicole Kidman (who incidentally doesn’t show her accent all that much all in order to trick us into liking her,) Russell Crowe, AC/DC, Luc Longley, Mel Gibson, INXS, Midnight Oil, Frente, and that evil jezebel Natalie Imbruglia. They can’t be explained as anything but attempts to take over the world.

And now with The Wiggles invading our kids’ hearts and minds, there might not be a way to stop these Australians in the future. It has already gotten so bad that I received a dirty look yesterday when I suggested to an American parent who was talking about the Wiggles, that “Michael Jackson was an original member but they kicked him out for obvious reasons.” Can you believe it has gotten so out of control that pedophilia jokes aren’t funny? Kiddy diddling? (I think I know funny, people. And that, my friends, is funny.)

Don’t think, for one second that the war is over. We must be vigilant. The Australians are smart and getting smarter all the time. Now they are in the process of breeding a super secret mega cultural weapon to weild against those of us who might not be prepared. Daniel Johns, lead singer of Silverchair, has married (gasp) Natalie Imbruglia in order to breed and create a veritable singing, acting cultural jihadist of the likes the world has never seen.

Just imagine the result. A soap acting, grunge rock playing, Kurt Cobain lookalike, who can do pop songs while overacting. And word has it that Peter Garrett of Midnight Oil and Angus Young of AC/DC are the godparents. Chilling to say the least.

And this my American friends will have you praying for the days of the Bee Gees, Russell Crowe, and Nicole Kidman using an American accent. You will pray for the soothing sounds of “Beds are Burning” and “Back in Black.” You will pray for bad shows on Animal Planet with Croc Hunter Steve Irwin.

But, I am telling you it starts with The Wiggles. So, let’s get the word out and stop them before they ruin everything. Only you can stop them by keeping them away from your children.

Thank you for listening. And may God bless the United States of America.
And to the Republic for which it stands.

And the home of the brave.

By now I am sure most have you have seen the disgusting footage of what happened between the Indiana Pacers and the Detroit Pistons this past week. I have to admit that I found it kind of fun to watch, but you knew some heavy punishments were coming. Well, now the suspensions are being handed down.

A Detroit television station (W-D-I-V) is reporting on its website that Pacers forward Ron Artest will be suspended for 30 games while teammates Jermaine O’Neal and Stephen Jackson will sit out 20 games apiece. The station also says Pistons center Ben Wallace will serve a five-game suspension.

While this was one of the ugliest moments in NBA history, I really think maybe this is a little harsh all things considered. I think Ben Wallace’s suspension is a little heavy for a guy who got into a small fight with another NBA player. I don’t think a little push on Artest after a hard foul in the closing seconds of the game was worthy of a full five games. I feel like this is a night in jail for running a stop sign. I guess it has been extended due to the horrible events that ensued after that push.

I am not sure that is fair either. On October 27th, the Washington Wizards’ Brendan Hayward was suspended for 3 games for throwing punches against the Bulls. In that same altercation, Larry Hughes was suspended for 1 game for starting the fight with a head butt on Kirk Hinrich. Ben Wallace pushed a guy and got 5 games due to the reaction of the fans.

In terms of the Pacers suspensions, I think that Artest deserves every bit of his suspension. He got hit with a cup of liquid and while that is unacceptable, I don’t think you can ever justify jumping into the stands. Fans need to be under control and they need to be reprimanded, but not by Ron Artest. As a result, this suspension is very important to set a precedent to other NBA players who might consider running into the stands any time in the future.

As for Jermaine O’Neal and Stephen Jackson, I understand the initial reaction of the NBA, but I think it is too harsh. Jackson needs to be suspended for entering the stands as well, but I don’t think we can judge him as harshly as he was attempting to help Ron Artest, a teammate, after Artest lost control. I think a 5 game suspension would have been acceptable in this case. 20 games, or almost 25% of an NBA season seems very long.

Jermaine O’Neal who landed a huge right cross on a Pistons fan was also given 20 games, but I think this is especially unfair because the fan was on the court. It appeared to me that O’Neal was on his way toward the locker room or at least the Pacers bench when a fan came up to him. There is no excuse for a fan to ever be close to, let alone on the court of an NBA game. I won’t go as far as to say there was nothing else that O’Neal could have done in that situation, but I think we should look at the scenario and the fact that arena security was basically non-existent before handing his suspension down. Again, I think 20 games is too long. I think that there is an argument that O’Neal was defending himself to an extent as the fan was on the court.

I am sure there will be some appeals to these suspensions and I realize that the players need to change, but I think the real issue here is that fans became overly involved in the game. Throwing a cup at an opposing player shouldn’t ever happen with appropriate arena security. Fans can’t ever be in a situation where they are on the court. I don’t know what changes the NBA needs to make, but it can’t begin and end with suspending these players.

The Not Craig’s are starting to get on my nerves. I am going to let Kiddicus pick my games for me. Tell me in the comments dude. Thanks.

Kiddicus was reached on his cell phone at 3:24 PM on Saturday. These are his picks. Now what do the Not Craig’s do. Will they become Not Kiddicus’? Remains to be seen.

Arizona at Carolina (-2.5)
St. Louis (-1) at Buffalo
Pittsburgh (-4) at Cincy
Denver (-4) at New Orleans
NJ Jets (-1) at Cleveland

I just got an email from Deezo saying that he is choosing the same teams as everyone else. Are these games this obvious?

BEEEP!!! We interrupt this program for a technical note about FilteringCraig.com

Well, the reason I was switching servers was because the one that I was on was in HongKong which explained some of the issue of a slow loading site. In addition to some other changes which I have made here recently, I think the site should load significantly faster than it was previously. Before too long, I am going to have to address the slowness issue in Movable Type in general. I am thinking of switching over to WordPress which doesn’t have all the extra baggage that Movable Type has. It loads faster and doesn’t rely on all the rebuilding.

If you are not a complete geek please ignore all that you just read. Think of fluffy bunnies. Or, as MisterCrunchy says commence in having a cool tasty beverage.

Ok, that completes this portion of dork-dom. I promise to talk about pop stars, bad television and movies now. Oh and maybe some poor sports picks and/or unchecked political opinion.

Rock.

Ever since I got Adelphia’s DVR Tivo thing, I have watched a lot more TV shows. I can watch them a whole lot more efficiently because I can watch them whenever I want. I figured I would run down the shows that I am watching regularly now and why.

Smallville - I have stated here before that I am a sucker for stories about time travel and for characters with super powers. Superman has always been a favorite even if I don’t carry it to Seinfeld proportions of obsessive-ness. I used to watch Lois and Clark with Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher even though it was mighty cheesy. This incarnation with an Abercrombie model playing Clark is about the same, but I can’t stop watching it. Super powers rule.

Lost - I couldn’t figure out if this show was going to be like Jurassic Park or a serious Gilligan’s Island or what. Frankly, I am still not sure at this point, but I am totally addicted to the combination of living on a deserted (or is it?) isle and the constant character reveals that we get to show us who these people were before they got on that plane on that fateful day. It adds a level of character development that will cause a wave of emotions depending on the character’s back-story. This will be great on DVD for those who missed it thus far.

NYPD Blue - I have been watching NYPD Blue (off and on) since it started in 1993. That’s right. Almost 12 years of my life with Dennis Franz as Andy Sipowicz. Sure there has been a rotation of people who have been his partner over the years, but the storylines have been pretty consistent. I will admit that this final season is going to be a breath of fresh air. The show really does need to end. They didn’t kill off Andy’s wife even though Charlotte Ross isn’t with the show anymore. Also, I think Zach Morris (Mark Paul Gosselar) is an improvement over Rick (don’t call me Ricky) Schroeder, but this year’s story line about him losing his way pretty well sucks. So, while I still love the show, I am happy it is going to end. How will they do it though? Will Andy die? Will he retire? Will he take up being a mime in Central Park in a weird plot twist? Only time will tell.

Joan of Arcadia - That’s right. I said it. I watch this show. It is like Beverly Hills 90210 meets Quantum Leap or something. I can’t figure out why I like this show so much. I can tell you that Mary Steenburgen and Joe Montegna play the parents. (Do you know how often I get made fun of for knowing stuff like, umm, well, MARY STEENBURGEN’S NAME?) Amber Tamblyn who was also in the terrifying horror movie, The Ring, plays Joan (of Arcadia, dummy) and all things considered she isn’t all that good. Again, maybe it has something to do with the storyline of Joan talking to God, but I can’t stop watching this show.

So, those are the shows that I record and watch. Whether I would ever watch them without a DVR remains to be seen, but I kind of think I would live my Friday nights more often than not without Joan of Arcadia. Also, Lost and Smallville are on at the same time, so I know I wouldn’t catch those two.

Next up is my decision on whether I should get a real TIVO and DVD Recorder combo.

Death Cab for Cutie has officially joined Atlantic Records. Ben Gibbard claims on the Death Cab website that the only difference now that they are on a major label is that the Atlantic symbol will be displayed on the spine of their upcoming releases. While I am sure that is some hyperbole, I do believe that the band will be able to continue to operate almost entirely the exact same way as they did prior to signing the deal, due to a couple of key factors.

First, Death Cab is not an arena rock band. They have no potential of becoming the next arena rock band. Thus, I don’t think Atlantic will make the mistake of trying to make them the next arena rock band. This band plays very well to large theaters and clubs, but they don’t have enough bombast to really fill out some of the larger basketball arenas around the country. They are not particularly “crazy” onstage and their music is also very subdued in spots, so I think they will continue to play to that size audience.

Secondly, they don’t have to worry about Atlantic trying to throw a bunch of crazy recording and production resources at the band. Chris Walla (guitar for Death Cab) is a pretty well-known producer around indie circles and I am quite sure that he will continue to produce the band going forward. So, while I think we could continue to hear the band’s sound develop, I don’t think we will get some crazy deviation from the sound that they have developed from in the past.

As a result of these two main factors, I tend to think Ben Gibbard is telling the truth when he says not much will change for the band. Oh, and the good news is that the band is apparently already working on their first album for Atlantic coming up shortly. So, we won’t have to wait too long to figure out exactly how the band will react musically (if at all) to the new deal they have signed.

I know that a lot of people have been sounding the death bell for Reality Television for a while now, but I think it is about time for it to really go now. Sure, we can keep the game show type shows like Fear Factor and even The Apprentice and maybe good ole Probst and Survivor, but the rest have to go. No more roses with bachelors and bachelorettes. No more Big Brother type Real World clones. No more big fat obnoxious anything. No more wife swapping shows and certainly no more plastic surgery makeover shows.

It is old and boring and quite frankly, we have survived a whole bunch of awful shows that we never should have been forced to watch. Hot or Not or whatever that show was called was a HUGE bust. Amish in the City started off interestingly before falling into the same old cliche trap that all the Real World clones fall into. The Osbournes was great until they became a caricature of themselves in the subsequent seasons. The Anna Nicole show wasn’t even good train-wreck television.

I am sure I am leaving a lot of them out, but isn’t this enough reason to stop the reality television shows? Do I have to bring up Temptation Island, or as I liked to call it, “Isla De Las Whores?”

(Ok, I never really called it that, but I should have.)

The reason that I bring this up now is that UPN is developing a show right now which sinks to all new lows. As if burning down Andre Rison’s house and dying in a car crash weren’t enough bad publicity for a lifetime, the R&B group TLC is looking to find a replacement member for Lisa “Left Eye” Lopes, who died in a car wreck. Tionne “T-Boz” Watkins and Rozonda “Chilli” Thomas are going to find that member by putting some female contestants through some challenges.

First of all, I think this is sick and I don’t even like TLC, but here are a few suggestions for how they can grade their contestants.

“Out contention is that Adrian Beltre had the best season ever by a third baseman. What we did is take four criteria — 45 home runs, 100 runs scored, and a .330 batting average - and looked to see how many third baseman had seasons like that. The answer is none.”

- Scott Boras on asking for a 10 year deal for his client.

Baseball is a ridiculous game and people get hurt all the time. Why would you ever (EVER!!!) give any player a 10 year deal? A decade long deal? A deal spanning 3650 calendar days. That is trying to nail down someone’s value over the course of 1620 professional baseball games.

Sports and athletes just aren’t that predictable and I hope to all things holy that nobody entertains the notion of signing a baseball player for 10 years. Not only is Boras looking to get that kind of a deal for Beltre, but he is also looking to get 10 years and $200 million for Carlos Beltran who spent last season between KC and the Astros.

This kind of thing is bad for the game. It is bad for players coming after these guys and it is bad for the fans who end up with their favorite teams being hamstrung with ridiculous contracts. How many times do we need to see guys like Albert Belle, Bo Jackson, Jose Lima, Kevin Maas, Jaret Wright, Mo Vaughn, Kevin Brown and others to realize that not only do teams need insurance on these players, but paying them after a single good season, for a huge amount of time after that ONE SEASON is a poor idea.

Baseball rant over. I can’t believe I just had a baseball rant about salaries without calling out the Yankees.

I spoke too soon.

I just read that the Yanks are considering bringing Nomar Garciaparra in to play second base. Infield would be, Jeter, A-Rod, Nomar, Giambi and Posada.

This would be the most ridiculous infield ever assembled, and also the stupidest thing in the history of the game.