November 3, 2004
There are many camps out there vying for success in November. I don’t know a single one of them who can guarantee victory. The “anyone but Bush” crowd is popular and is working hard, but they can’t guarantee victory. The Bush supporters are steadfast and ready to vote for their guy, but like their counterparts on the left, they cannot guarantee victory either.
You see, only I, and many of my growing numbers of compatriots can really guarantee victory.
That is because I am pulling for November 3, 2004. Which candidate, you ask? In the context of this conversation it doesn’t matter. Sure, I am going to vote on November 2, but what I am really pulling for is for this whole election to be over so I can stop thinking about conventions, politicians, celebrities pretending to be politicians, politicians pretending to be celebrities, extremists on both sides, Michael Moore, whether or not Mandy Moore is a republican or not, swift boats and the air national guard.
You see, there is no mileage in any of that stuff. It will have you pegged as an easily identifiable side in a “polarized” race. So, as a result, I am choosing to pull for November 3, 2004. I mean really. Who can argue with that? It is the only reasonable thing to hope for in this election. And it is the only cause running that can guarantee victory.
Comments
Sideblog 
- FreeTheAirwaves.org Tuesday, 19 August 2008, 7:51 am
Google has a vested business interest in this project, but I am rooting for them anyway. Google wants to take that unused fuzzy space between TV channels and broadcast internet signals all over the. […] - Browns vs. Giants - Preseason Game 2 Live Blog at WFNY Monday, 18 August 2008, 4:19 pm
The nice guys over at Waiting for Next Year are going to be live-blogging their event in a chat room over at their site. I am a geek, and will be joining them. Come on over. - Dan Gilbert is My Hero Sunday, 10 August 2008, 5:46 am
Cleveland Cavaliers owner on all the LeBron James rumors, ”The reason this thing is where it’s at,” Gilbert said, ”is that we’ve got a bunch of bored, East Coast sports writers who have noth. […] - LeBron to Europe? I Don’t Think So Thursday, 7 August 2008, 4:22 am
So, while the major media continues to plot LeBron’s departure from Cleveland, there is a sane voice out there letting everyone know how unlikely the most outlandish scenarios truly are. - Top Gun 2???!?!?!??!?!? Wednesday, 23 July 2008, 5:50 am
According to reports, the plot outline is, (wait for it) “The idea is Maverick is at the Top Gun school as an instructor — and this time it is he who has to deal with a cocky new female pilot.” - Be Afraid Utah Tuesday, 22 July 2008, 7:26 am
Carlos Boozer is a snake and one of the most dishonorable people in professional sports history. I guess I am not over this just yet. - How much you wanna bet… Thursday, 3 July 2008, 9:18 pm
That this 4-day work week will actually increase the amount of gasoline that these employees will be using? Instead of commuting to work, they will now be going to the grocery store, going to do som. […] - In-Car DVD Players are Stupid Thursday, 26 June 2008, 10:15 am
At least they will be when we get a load of in-car wifi!!!!! (I am such a geek.) - George Carlin is Gone Monday, 23 June 2008, 4:34 am
I once bet a guy in college that I could watch a George Carlin special on HBO without laughing. I did it, but it wasn’t at all easy. There is going to be a void left by Carlin dying. - Accepted Behaviors Tend to Increase Thursday, 19 June 2008, 12:15 pm
If you become too accepting of a condition that you really don’t want to encourage, you might just end up with unintended consequences.
Noivember 3, 2004
There are many camps out there vying for success in November. I don’t know a single one of them who…
Your such a douche! November 1st is way cooler than November 3rd. Remember that time after September 11th when November 3rd waited almost 60 days to happen? That is unacceptable, any self resecting date before November 3rd would have happened quicker than November 3rd did.
November 3rd also has been given alot of advantages in life because of nepatisim. I mean why is is so much cooler than November 1st? Don’t give me the closer to Thanksgiving argument, because that is just conservative November 3rd garbage!
This election year I will be hoping for November 1st. Really Any date would be better that November 3rd, even that ridiculos October 12th.
In a speech given earlier this morning, November 3, 2004 reiterated its promise for an America full of people who’ve totally forgotten about this election. “When given my time, I will see to it that Americans have traded discussions of Michael Moore and Haliburton for early morning bantering of the all-too-soon cold weather, which will begin to robe the land. I assure that turkerys will be given freely to all those who spend over $500 on their Giant Eagle Advantage Card during the month preceeding my tenure. And within my first thirty days in office, I will personally place a Santa in every mall across this great nation.”
The entire speech will air this evening on Scarborough. Plus, 11.3.04 (as it has come to be known) will appear this Thursday on Larry King Live.
UPDATE - Matt Drudge of The Drudge Report [drudgereport.com] has reported that November 3rd’s claims that it falls between November 2nd and November 4th cannot be confirmed for the years of 1969-1973.
“We have no record of November 3rd reporting for duty for that time period,” said January 1st, commanding officer of the 365th Day Battation, 24th-Hour Platoon.
The Conservative 529 group “Days of the Year for Truth” began running ads in 19 closely contested election stated, in which other days of the year attest that November 3rd lied repeatedly about its service as a day of the year and that it actually never happened.
“Nothing has ever come between November 2nd and I,” reported November 4th. “I have met November 3rd. I was in the year around the same time he was. But he never reported for duty. It’s disgraceful for him to claim otherwise.”
More on this story as it develops…
11-3 is overrated. Everyone seems to think that 11-3 is the guy for the job. well i’m here to set the record straight. 11-11 is the only logical choice this year. i mean seriously, it reads the same backwards as forwards, and has 4 of the same number representing something completely unrelated to 1. i’ve been awestruck by 11-11. DOWN WITH 11-3
Commenters are officially on fire today… All of you. If only Mister Crunchy weren’t lost somewhere in Canada driving his “hubbercraft.”
NOVEMBER 3rd does not deserve the #1 spot in the random top 10. i’m boycotting this blog until… well tomorrow when i get bored. but it’ll be a long 16 hours buddy!