Jinxed by Softball

I know I have made fun of softball a lot of times in the past on this website. I usually make fun because I really can’t stand those guys who take softball too seriously because they were unable to further their careers in baseball back in the day. As a result, they go out every friday with their bar-sponsored uniforms, unnecessary eye black and most of all ridiculous levels of testosterone-fueled intensity to ruin a fun game for everyone. You guys have heard this take before.

This is all a preface to the fact that I was playing softball last night in a coed league that is honestly nothing but fun. We only have maybe one person on our team who takes it too seriously. Anyway, this isn’t the point of the post.

I got on base last night and I was at first base. The next guy up hit a long drive that I wasn’t sure was going to get over the right fielder’s head. I am half way between first and second when it becomes apparent that it is in fact going to fly over the dude’s head. So I start booking. Booking like an out of shape 225 pound dude who isn’t going to be able to stop very easily.

I round second base.

I am running toward third and I am instructed to go home. I start taking my turn as the girl who is playing third base decides to cut right in front of me in front of the third base bag. The girl is about 5 foot 4 inches and petite. I am running full speed at 5 foot 11 inches and 225 pounds and there is about to be a nasty collision.

I do my best to side-step her, she ducks a bit, collision was avoided for the most part, but she blocked/tripped me. I am kind of going sideways now. Right foot hits the bag and I fall down. The runner behind me is coming to third, I have gotten up and I am now in between third and home and the umpire hasn’t said anything about the fact that I was hip checked at third base. Finally my guy gets back to second base and I make a mad dash for third and get in there before the tag. The ball beat me and the umpire calls it like it was a force play. I have my foot on the bag and I am sitting on the ground.

Now I am starting to react to the play. I am right in front of our bench and I say, “What the hell. She blocked my a$$!” My whole bench bursts out laughing. I am out. I am walking back and I think it is kind of funny until I feel that twinge in my ankle.

After a while I started feeling that sprained ankle feeling start to develop. After a night to get annoyed and swell ridiculously, it turns out I have a pretty sprained ankle. I can walk with a limp, but it sucks really badly. Now everything seems less funny. ALL OF IT. The fact that she cut in front of me and blocked me. The fact that I hurt myself because I tried not to kill her. The fact that I made a good play getting back to third and was still called out.

I am still not going to take softball too seriously, but to be quite honest, you shouldn’t wreck your car trying to avoid a squirrel in the road. Next time I am just going to plaster the third base person instead of hurtling my (over)weight in a different direction resulting in the spraining of my ankle. Beware coed softball leagues.

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