Superbowl Halftime Bore
CBS adds secret performer for halftime show
- HOUSTON (AP) — Janet Jackson, Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, Kid Rock and Nelly apparently weren’t enough for CBS’ 12 1/2-minute Super Bowl halftime show.
Another act is poised join the MTV-produced extravaganza. Who that is will remain a mystery until the program, producers said Thursday.
The production will require 350 local volunteers to haul and assemble 70 pieces of the stage, which spans 120 feet. Then about 2,500 youngsters from area schools will pour onto the field to create a festival concert atmosphere.
Combs said that as big a deal as the halftime show has become, the musicians are just a sideshow.
“This is all about the players,” he said. “We’re here to fill some time while they get ready for the second half.”
Does anyone care about this? Plus, who do you think CBS will bring on as a special mystery guest? Will it be some over-the-hill “diva” like Aretha Franklin? Will it be some incongruous musical act that all the hip-hop stars are going to pretend to respect like the Rolling Stones? Will it be the “triumphant return” of everyone’s favorite wacko, Michael Jackson?
Who cares. They could bring all those people up and I still wouldn’t care. Everyone tries to to create magic all the time and then they declare that something was amazing, and spectacular before anyone even has a chance to judge. This just in. Aerosmith, Kid Rock and Run D.M.C. getting together on an MTV stage sucks. Aerosmith, Britney Spears and N’Sync together on the Superbowl sucks. Throwing in Shania Twain doesn’t do anything to make it not suck. Gwen Stefani can’t make it any better either.
Pearl Jam and Neil Young? That’s a pretty good match. Eminem and Elton John? Compelling. I am not sure what makes the matches special, but you can’t force it. You will have to excuse me if I don’t think P Diddy has the juice to create a magical moment.
So, who is the magical special guest? It doesn’t matter. Janet Jackson, P Diddy, Kid Rock and Nelly have already guaranteed that there will be no magic during the 12 and 1/2 minute Superbowl halftime show.
Strange Dreams
I recently told you about one of my dreams. I felt comfortable sharing with you that I had dreamt that Hey Ya! had been written by Chino Moreno of the Deftones in my dreams. Very strange, but also completely safe. There was no crazy psycho-analysis to be had from that one.
Normally, I don’t ever share my dreams with anyone because they are just too strange and I find them embarassing. I hate to think what people are going to read into them, because I do have that strange psychosis where I care about what everyone else thinks. I get embarassed easily when it comes to certain things. As a result, the strange dreams I have are normally kept to myself.
Well, I am going to frustrate the hell out of you folks today, because I had a doozy last night. Of course I am not going to recount any of the details for you, but I need to tell you the rest of the story.
I was talking to my boss this morning about some regular stuff. Just hanging out shooting it. I had totally forgotten about what I dreamt last night, but all of a sudden for no reason and without any discernible prompt, I thought about my eff’d up dream from last night. It was quite disturbing and I basically missed 15 or 20 seconds of the conversation that I had been having with my boss.
I can only imagine the conclusions you people would come up with if I shared what I dreamt. Frankly, I don’t want to imagine it at all. So there is your tease for the day.
Ryan Adams – Rock N Roll
I know I am a bit late to this party, but with a good friend’s recommendation, I bought a copy of “Rock N Roll” by Ryan Adams. This album has done pretty well with the critics, but for whatever reason, I had never given Adams much of a chance. As it turns out, Adams is not only good, but he forces me to break my own rules. He has a song on “Rock N Roll” called “Wish You Were Here” which I had officially put a moratorium on as a title after Incubus called one of their songs that a couple years ago. The fact is the only “Wish You Were Here” is by Pink Floyd. Strangely enough, after hearing Adams’ unoriginally titled song, I don’t feel too bad about the name.
This album is just straight up rock, reminiscent of Paul Westerberg solo stuff, but it definitely has more of an emotional edge, and never reaches the pop heights that Westerberg did. “This is It” is a good opener, and has a Foo Fighter-esque ending, in my opinion. I don’t know if that is appropriate in the chicken or the egg sense, but to me it makes the most sense. Adams gets playful with songs like “Note to Self: Don’t Die” and “Do Miss America” but the album is made with the less sarcastic tracks.
The highlights of the album are “So Alive” which reaches the greatest melodic and emotional heights on the album and the title track “Rock N Roll.” On “So Alive” Adams voice is possibly reminiscent of Joshua Tree era Bono. The thing is that it doesn’t sound forced or like an impression or anything. “Rock N Roll” is a two-minute low-fi track, which catalogs all the various lows, which might be felt. It doesn’t come off like a laundry list, and at two minutes with a sample of a girl saying the same thing over and over to finish the track, I can’t figure out quite why it is so powerful to me.
Anyway, check out this album. It is solid from beginning to end, and has made me a Ryan Adams fan. I will be checking out the Love is Hell EP’s shortly.
To be continued…
Peddling Stolen Wares?
I want you to check out this auction on Ebay. I have to think this seller is either a thief, or the owner of a pawn shop or something. I feel sorry for the poor person who had that book of DVD’s sitting in their house somewhere in an easy to steal package, when some guy in need of cash grabbed it and ran off with it. Who the hell sells their stuff like that? Drug addicts who stole it from somebody’s house. That’s my guess.
Then if you look at the seller’s other items it becomes painful. A Sony Handheld Camera being sold without a case or a manual. Imagine that. Why wouldn’t the person have the case and the manual? Hmm. And this. An HP Pavilion Laptop being sold with absolutely nothing but the actual laptop and the power cord. I figure HP sells their laptops with backup discs of their software right? Where are those discs? Some college kid got screwed in this deal.
The list goes on and on. Various tools. An MP3 player without any of the accessories, probably ripped from a college campus. A lot of 46 Playstation 2 games probably stolen from someone’s apartment on Christmas break. Do I have any proof? Not a chance. Am I being completely judgemental and unfair? Absolutely. Take a look at this seller’s items and you be the judge. Of course they could have gotten these things from bankruptcies or something like that, but I can’t help but feel some of this stuff might have been ripped off. And the DVD’s in the booklet are just screaming at me.
Teaching is Iced for Today
If you were visiting this site last year you might remember my posts about the 2nd grade class that I taught last year. They provided me with a ton of entertainment last year. Well, I am teaching them again this year for 5 weeks. I was supposed to start this morning, but to my disappointment there were over 500 school cancellations this morning in the Greater Cleveland area due to the weather. So, those little gassy goofballs will have to wait until next week.
I am excited because I am going to be teaching them before lunch instead of after lunch so hopefully their systems won’t be brewing up those bombs of gastric death when I am there. I know I am concentrating on the wrong things about teaching them, but their farting was memorable. It is one of the things that sticks with me from teaching them last year. I mean they were a lot of fun. They asked great questions, they made me laugh and they surprised me with how smart they were with some things, but nothing could make me forget walking around the classroom and occasionally walking straight through a pocket of oderiferous gas that would floor most people.
Ok, I will stop now, but be warned, we could have many stories like this before my five weeks is up.
Now, throw down some salt so I can go teach the kids. I even read through the lesson plan last night. Damn this Cleveland winter!
A Year’s Reflection
After talking to one of my oldest friends last night, I starting thinking about the last 12 months or so. After a conversation about all the things that are going on for me right now, he just told me it is amazing how far I have come in a year. I think it might be the very definition of contrast.
Last year, I was further down than than this friend had ever seen me. He didn’t even know who he was talking to anymore, I don’t think. I hated where I was living. I had hardly any friends nearby, which proves that even if you are within the vicinity of the town you grew up in, it doesn’t mean you are home. I had an hour-long commute to and from work every single day. I was bored with life. The holidays were particularly bad. I was miserable and that rubbed off in the way I was interacting with my family.
Well, it is now a year later. Here are the things that have changed. I bought a house that is 5 minutes from where I work. It is 20 minutes from my parents’ house instead of 45 minutes. I am also 5 minutes away from my sister and brother-in-law. I started playing guitar and now have written 10 songs. I played a successful show in front of probably 400 people. I started my weblog and have built up a lot of my traffic. I started writing for BlogCritics and doing concert and CD reviews. Last but certainly not least, my relationship situation has improved considerably, from nothing to something great. There are also a couple of other things that I don’t even want to talk about yet.
I do realize that I might be taunting the Karmic Gods by writing this. I am probably giving them all the ammunition they need to send my life spiraling down the toilet. I hope the fact that I have seen the lows, and appreciate the highs so much, that it will save me the future pain of everything collapsing. Certainly not everything will go well forever, but as long as I don’t reach the low point that I hit last year, I think I can deal.
Anyway, it’s just one of those times when it’s actually fun to reflect.
John Vanderslice – Cellar Door
When you listen to an album by John Vanderslice, you know one thing for sure. It will have some interesting sounds and production. Ranging from typical rock to more of an eclectic mix of atypical sounds, that wouldn’t sound out of place in a Nine Inch Nails record. Of course in order to make this music, Trent Reznor would have to express his references and observations in more of the indie rock style with much less anger. Vanderslice is a master of the studio and subtleties and it shines through again on his latest album, “Cellar Door.”
The first thing that pops out at me is “Up Above the Sea.” The beat and background keyboards sound like new wave from the 80’s. Just when you start wondering where the hook is, Vanderslice slams you in the face with it. He leaves you thinking, “of course that’s where this is going” as if it never could have sounded any different. This sense of songcraft is what defines Vanderslice’s music.
You can hear a sense a lot of the classic rock influences on “Cellar Door” if you listen carefully enough. That’s not to say he is ignoring a lot of his contemporaries, because their influence is apparent as well, but his melodies are very classic. For example, it is easy to hear a possible Beatles influence on “Wild Strawberries.” The difference is that it sounds like a remix done by Radiohead or the Flaming Lips.
This is definitely worth a listen. Highlights for me on this album were “Up and Above the Sea,” “They Won’t Let Me Run,” “Promising Actress,” and the album’s ender, “June July.” It really is a complete album though. It wouldn’t sound right to me if I didn’t listen to them in order.
American Idol: Reject Edition
The first show of American Idol where they make fun of all the losers who are awful singers, is by far my favorite. I really don’t like the show at all, but last season while traveling for business I caught the first show where they waded through the pools of the talentless. I am not sure what kind of delusional world these people live in, but here on this earth, they are not American Idol material. I must say that I was really enjoying the collection of video clips of people who thought dancing was their way onto the show. Too funny.
Then there was Scooter Girl, who really reminded me of Roller Girl from Boogie Nights (except she didn’t strip naked and bang Dirk Diggler.) She was blond, kind of like Heather Graham and she kept rolling around on her scooter. I was waiting for her to get the unmerciful hatchet from Simon and then she got accepted to the next round. How is it that someone with a schtick can be good enough to go onto the next round? Schtick is reserved for the less talented who need an edge. IE 80’s hair metal bands, Marylin Manson, Carrott Top and Gallagher.
I guess I will get over the fact that Scooter Girl made it through to the next round. I got to see that really horrible girl clear out an entire bar in NYC after her delusions of grandeur led her to accept a bet with Simon. It’s the first time I ever liked Simon. Someone needs to tell that girl how awful she is. This is the problem with parents who start out telling their kids, “You can be anything your pretty little heart desires, sweetheart.” At some point, as a parent, it is your job to help guide your kids away from things they aren’t good at and get them into things that they might succeed in.
A lot of parents of these American Idol contestants need to do something different with their pride and joy. Anyway, this is probably the only American Idol story you will get from me until some over-singing loser (Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard and Clay Aiken) wins this season and starts invading our record charts, police blotters, and (gasp!) movie theaters.
Sleep-deprived Miles Misses Practice
Darius Miles AWOL from Cavaliers Practice
Cleveland – This morning it was reported that Cleveland Cavaliers forward Darius Miles missed practice without calling and without an excuse. Cavaliers coach Paul Silas said of Miles, “I sure hope he has a good excuse.” The 6-9 forward, who came from the Clippers in a deal for Andre Miller two years ago showed up later, claiming simply that he overslept and that he was extremely sorry.
An impromptu press conference was held so that Miles could discuss the situation with the often-scathing Cleveland media. Long-time athlete advocates Jesse Jackson and Jim Brown were on-hand to show support for the sleep-deprived Miles. It is reported that Miles will pay his $10,000 fine, apologize to his teammates, as well as issue a written apology to the fans. Finally, Miles ran fifty suicide running drills without being prompted by any Cavaliers staff.
During the press conference, Miles talked about his alarm clock saying, “That (stupid) thing is really hard to set and unfortunately for me, the danged thing, just didn’t go off this morning.” After the press corps laughter subsided, Miles went on to say that he is going to buy two new alarm clocks, put them on separate sides of the room and set one five minutes ahead of the other in order to stagger them and make sure that he is able to get up on time in the future. Then he dropped a bombshell. Miles has had trouble sleeping lately as well.
Miles has had difficulties this season with the Cavaliers. Miles is averaging 8.9 points per game as well as 4.4 rebounds in limited time on the floor. He explains his troubled season on his inability to count sheep, and ultimately get a good night’s sleep. Said Miles, “I always thought skipping straight from high school to the pros was a good move, and I haven’t had any problem counting the money that all these teams have been throwing at me since I came into the league. It’s just that when I get to 67 sheep, I have trouble going any further and then I have to start all over again.”
Because of this, Miles is reportedly starting a foundation for sleep-deprived NBA players. “I have learned from my mistake and I would like to make sure that I help spread the word about this horrible problem. That’s why I started this foundation to show other NBA players the dangers of sleep deprivation. Every time someone in the NBA gets into trouble for pounding on their wife, taking drugs, raping the help at a hotel (allegedly), or getting arrested for a DUI, they make sure they help others avoid the mistakes they made by doing public service announcements, talking to high school kids and doing community service. Either that or they buy expensive presents for their wife. I don’t have a wife, so this was the logical option. I would just like to do my part in the NBA community.”
And the NBA community is better off for having a guy like Darius Miles, at least in this humble reporter’s opinion.
Freddy vs. Jason
Last night I watched Freddy vs. Jason on DVD. I am not sure what possessed me to pick it up at Blockbuster last night, but it just hit me that I would want to see it. There have been much worse Freddy and/or Jason movies in the past. This one was actually kind of interesting and entertaining for a bit. These movies are all about blood, violence, and nudity/sex.
So you are probably wondering, “How in the hell do they get a guy like Jason, who lives in the real world to fight Freddy, who lives in the dream world?” (Or you may be asking why you are reading my site today.) Freddy has been forgotten over the last four years as the town has sent any kids who would dream about Freddy to a hospital where they were given dream suppression medication. That’s right. Dream suppression medication.
So, Freddy somehow channels Jason’s mother and gets him to start killing again. With a few brutal murders by Jason on Elm Street, people undoubtedly start talking about and ultimately fearing Freddy again and he starts to re-enter the dreams of kids, who incidentally are all skinny, surgically enhanced and frequently naked. It’s like The O.C. with Edward Scissor Hands and a machete.
Anyway, it wasn’t horrible. The final scenes were pretty exciting and plenty of these horrible actors were killed brutally throughout the movie. If you like this kind of movie, check it out, but if you don’t already like it, I don’t think this will convert you into a fan. Although I never saw Jason X, I am willing to go out on a limb and say this was better that Jason (or Uber-Jason… no, really.) in space. That’s right. They resurrected “Uber-Jason” on a 25th century spaceship.
I am not going to tell you who won Freddy vs. Jason, but I will tell you that unfortunately there is a reasonable chance at a sequel. I think they might have been better served to just end it all. Maybe a double suicide or something?
