Barbaric Christmas
Ok, I am now set for the holidays. I have all presents but one. I have wrapping paper. I have plans for Christmas Eve, Christmas day and the Saturday following Christmas. I have a cheesy tree in my living room that changes colors. I am cooking something for Christmas eve. I think I have all that covered.
I am mentally prepared to see everyone and I am looking forward to it. Seeing everyone over too much food and some “spiritual” beverages will be fun. We even have unexpected guests this year which should add to the fun factor of the whole thing. Everything looks good.
With all that being said, is it too much to ask to not have to hear the bastardized “Jingle Bells” by Barbra Streisand at any point this year? Knowing my family, it is too much to ask.
added on December 23rd
I just had to add more to this post after seeing what was written on Amazon regarding this album. And I quote:
- You haven’t heard “Jingle Bells” until you’ve heard Barbra Streisand’s version. Sounding more like a bebop Santa on A Christmas Album’s rousing opening track, Streisand keenly races through the stanzas, toying with the words, pushing the song’s tempos, and generally having a lot of fun. After that, she gets down to the more serious side of holiday offerings, with tracks that include “My Favorite Things,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” “Silent Night,” “The Christmas Song,” and others. At times this world-class singer can bowl you over with her range, sensuality, and emotion, and when she visits “Ave Maria” or closes with “The Lord’s Prayer,” it’s easy to see why this is one singular Streisand record that has traveled so well for so many years. A classy classic. –Martin Keller
End quote.
Martin Keller, I don’t have grounds for an actual restraining order, but I am hearby serving you notice. I will be forced to give you the largest, most excruciating wedgie ever known to mankind if you come within 100 yards of me.
Streisand wasn’t having fun, she was tediously butchering a kids’ Christmas tune. Kind of like the camp bully who would pin you down and poke you in the chest because he could, all under the guise of fun. I don’t think so. Damnit, I am going to become seriously disgruntled and leave my parents house if this song is played. It has been said. Heed my words or prepare for my departure. Sally, you wouldn’t want to make Mom cry would you?
WOULD YOU?
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If you become too accepting of a condition that you really don’t want to encourage, you might just end up with unintended consequences.
sounds like you have:
Streisandophobia-the fear of being stuck in a room listening to Barbra Streisand.
To find out more about Streisandophobia visit http://deezofeezo.blog-city.com
because knowing is half the battle…Yo Joe!
EviL! EVil! Evil! eviL! eVIl!
I’m going to sing it to you LOUDLY!!!
(hyper speed) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way, oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, hey, jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh, (breathe)a dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh oh the fields we go laughing all the way ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….
You suck. I wasn’t goint to point to you directly, but you have outed yourself as a Barbra Christmas album fan. Say what you want about Barbra, and I might agree with the talent level, but I know songs, and that “version” of jingle bells is the most horrendous bastardization of a song in the history of the universe. Barbra takes a classic Christmas tune and speeds it up. It’s like, “OK, I am going to snort a bunch of coke with my ginormously voluminous nostril, sing way too fast and with WAY too much enunciation. Now, let’s do everything else we can to make it as annoying and obnoxious as possible.”
Madonna’s version of American Pie looks great compared to this version of Jingle Bells. UB40’s version of Elvis seems glorious in comparison. Korn covering White Christmas note for note would be 1,000,000,000 times better than Barbra’s “version” of jingle bells. It should be stricken from the record of music history. Do you understand what I am saying? It’s bad.
Christmas in Hollis is The One True Christmas Carol.
If they play the Streisand song, retaliate with my special holiday ditty, linked below.
Isn’t she Jewish? How can she sing Christmas carols?