The Anti-Metal
If your house was overtaken by some teenage metal-heads obsessed with Metallica and the like, what would you play to rid yourself of them.
Dawn Olsen tried Sea Change by Beck and finally used the Smiths to some success.
My suggestions for getting rid of metal-ridden teenagers:
Milli Vanilli - No explanation needed
Happy Family - This is a japanese progressive jazz band that sometimes sounds like they threw 1000 tin cans down a flight of stairs.
Barbra Streisand - The Christmas Album - This album has been torturing me because of my family for years now. It is by far the worst and most obnoxious version of crack-head jingle bells I have ever heard.
Air Supply - This Australian duo can turn any metalheads brain to mush in two seconds flat with their plethora of hits that had the word “love” in the title.
Michael Bolton - His long hair and cheesy hits are almost a direct mockery of metal boys hairdos everywhere.
Got some more?
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I’m a what-you-call Metal-head
(i don’t like Metallica since “load” album)
you know what diferences Metal people from the others, well we listen the hardest stuff but we can appreciate the ballads too, and myself likes electronic, rock, post-rock, blues, jazz, classical….in short MUSIC.
but people who don’t listen Metal usually are more closed to new musical xperiences.
so… I’m Anti-Intolerants
Assuming I’d want to use something that I actually enjoy, so it doesn’t drive me, screaming and nakes, from the house as well, I’d have to go with these:
The Monkees.
various songs from various Gilbert & Sullivan operettas.
REM
The Presidents of the United States of America
Muppet music
Parliament
ALso, the title of this post made me think of the last Primus album, “Antipop,” which was pretty awful. A couple of really good songs on there, though, like Dirty Drowning Man, Coattails of a Dead Man, and Ballad of Bodacious.
I liked Metallica back in the 80’s, and still like the music they produced then, but when I see these kids around listening to today’s version of Metallica (with the exception of their new album), I literally want to puke. So in a roundabout way, I agree with you in the necessity to get them out of my house. However, I do not think I would ever be able to bring myself to play some of these suggestions. All you really have to do is walk into the room, turn the music up louder, bang your head like you used to in High School, and as a matter of principle, they will leave (not wanting to hang around “Dad”)
I suppose anything in the Country genre would do the trick, but combine old style country with classical, and you’ve got a winner. For your listening pleasure, may I present - Buck Owens and the Buckaroos with the Bakersfield Symphony Orchestra* recorded live 11-Oct-1998 !
*Before criticism begins…No, I didn’t buy it. My sister plays in the symphony and got me a copy for Christmas. I considered it a gag gift, and the next white elephant gift party I go to I will be rid of it. However, any reader of the blatherings of Filtering Craig may have it at a reasonable cost.
The advice I got on this was from a guy in a kilt at the Great Lakes Renaissance Faire. Not very much can penentrate or annoy like good authentic bagpipe music. Keep a CD arround for just such an emergency.
sorry, I have to go with a good, old-fashioned New Kids on the Block. Or maybe Wham. Having spent 3 years in the high school drum line, all of whose members (except for yours truly) adored Metallica, I can authoritatively state that either of these bands will drive metalheads clinically insane.
Shut your fuckin mouth, damb ass. You better not speak about this stuff, cause you cant even underestand it!
I think you are all complete idiots. I love all of Metallicas work. From “Kill ‘em all” to “St. Anger”. I think you anti-metal people could learn a few things from metal. If you actually listened, you would see classical elements in thier instrumentals “Call of the Ktulu” and “Orion” as well as all the solos. You ignorant bastards have no concept of talent. You try playing like James and Kirk. For you non talent likers, they are the guitarists of Metallica.
I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT NOW, AT THIS TIME THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING AND KILLING TO BRING FASCISM TO THIS COUNTRY (NOT LIKE IT DEMOCRACY NOW) AND WE STIL AND ARGUE? MUSIC IS GEARED TOWARDS BRINGING TOGETHER, NOT SECTIONS. IN METAL AND IN ANY FORM OF MUSIC THE LYRICS AND WHAT THEY ARE TRYING TO SAY IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT. SO STOP FIGHTING FOR MUSIC, AND START FIGHTING FOR PEOPLE…