VMA Wrapup
(Pictures were gratuitously ripped from MTV . COM )
If this is what MTV is resorting to to get people to watch their show, then it is a sad day. Although I was entertained by it, and it did draw attention away from that horrible song that Madonna was performing, is this how you want to be known? Also, why was Missy Elliott even there? In related news, there is no way a song as bad as Missy Elliott’s can win video of the year. It is horrible no matter how “cool” the video looks.
I thought all the performances were bad and/or forced last night. I thought Mary J. Blige, who did an incredible job a couple years ago with “No More Drama,” was less than impressive this year. She sounded ok, but I didn’t like the song. 50 Cent sounded sloppy as hell and the Snoop Dogg pimp thing didn’t work that well. Coldplay sounded good, but they didn’t do anything special. Metallica sounded forced with the medley of covers and then their own song sounded just ok. As they were celebrating and dropping confetti from the roof, I wanted to ask them to vaccum it back up and do a better job before celebrating.
As a final note, why was Justin Timberlake on camera all night long? Why did he need to react to everything going on onstage and why did they cut to it for us? Is he the Ed McMahon of the VMA’s? And why did he keep trying to pump us up about Duran Duran getting back together? I liked some of Duran Duran’s music back in the day, but I am probably one of the only ones left who still watches MTV who even remembers them. I guarantee a huge portion of Timberlake’s audience has no idea who they are. It’s really funny, because the producers of MTV really should have read my post the other day. “You can’t force moments…”
Friday Five (8/29/2003)
1. Are you going to school this year?
I am going to LakeLand Community college baby! I am taking a COBOL (programming) class.
2. If yes, where are you going (high school, college, etc.)? If no, when did you graduate?
I graduated from Boston University in December of 2001
3. What are/were your favorite school subjects?
Before college, english was always my favorite. I like to write and I actually enjoyed studying grammar. Although it isn’t always perfect on the site, I don understand a good bit of it. In college my favorite classes were finance classes with the exception of the one that dealt with how markets work. Although it might be important to know, I really never cared how the overnight interest rates are determined for banks, etc.
4. What are/were your least favorite school subjects?
Math in general has always been a thorn in my side with the exception of geometry. Even in college, I really wanted to like statistics, but only about 1/3 of it would ever make logical sense to me. Oh well.
5. Have you ever had a favorite teacher? Why was he/she a favorite?
One of my favorite teachers of all time was my fifth grade teacher, Mr. Wood. He was a stone cold badass. He was oldschool before I knew the meaning of the word. One time a kid got taken out of his class by the kid’s parents because they didn’t agree with his punishment techniques. Mr. Wood never struck a kid, but he would occasionally humiliate one by picking him or her up in the air and carrying them for a bit. He was a huge burly man with a comb-over.
So anyway the parents didn’t like it and they kept coming to complain and eventually started trying to talk to Mr. Wood about it. Mr. Wood warned the principal that he better keep those parents away from him. No threat, just an implied one. He didn’t need one. Nobody ever had trouble believing Mr. Wood. That was one of the best classes ever.
We liked Mr. Wood and we respected him. We didn’t want to do anything to piss him off and in return he treated us with respect. You acted badly you would get humiliated and learn your lesson. I think it is a better dynamic than the one that exists today where many teachers are forced to walk on eggshells due to the legal climate.
Windburn
While this isn’t next in line as far as songs I am writing, I really like these lyrics. I have another one that should be done by the end of the weekend, but until then have a preview of what could come in another couple of weeks.
Windburn
There I wish I wasn’t in the back of this car
Too cold to breath, to sleep because I’m tired
Mixing smells of cold air and the back of your head
No reason to be here but I can pretend
The newsprint conjures memories
Expended effort to learn my speech
Clearer extractions from the sound
The bluegrass clouds the new world beat
Driving used to smooth over the world
Just by changing on which ground I stood
For who and where do I understand?
The night air tries to penetrate your layers
I see the things that no one else would want
Here I feel I cannot let it go again
I could read the plates but now you’re distant
All these dissipating memories
Ring less true now than they did back then
Like telemarket existence ringing through
Said enough but nothing rings true
Driving used to smooth over the world
Just by changing on which ground I stood
For who and where do I understand?
Death Cab for Cutie: Transatlanticism
The new album, Transatlanticism, by Death Cab for Cutie should cap off a whirlwind year for frontman Benjamin Gibbard. This year saw Gibbard go from indie/emo underground hero with his “Godzilla-stomp” stage presence, to SubPop Indie king with his “side project,” The Postal Service. After hearing Transatlanticism, I think Gibbard and bandmates can finish off the year on a positive note.
Oh, and by the way, there are other members in the band. Chris Walla, who has been Gibbard’s partner in crime, almost since the beginning, once again takes the helm for the production duties. While Gibbard was doing his thing with the Postal Service, Walla was increasing his reputation for production expertise at labelmate John Vanderslice’s studio. Up to this point Walla has produced a handful of albums for bands including Hot Hot Heat and The Velvet Teen. Nick Harmer is back for the bass duties and there is a new drummer (surprise, surprise) whose name is Jason McGerr. McGerr is the fifth person to fill the most volatile slot in Death Cab for Cutie, which has been a band since their early demos in 1997 and 1998.
Since their 1999 debut, Something About Airplanes, they have released an additional three albums, and two of the best EP’s I own. The albums are good, but I might argue that Death Cab’s greatest asset is their ability to work with the short form and still have it sound like a complete work. The Stability EP might truly be their best work to date even though it is only three songs and includes a cover of Bjork’s All Is Full of Love. The thing is, that even in a short period of time, they are able to take a listener on a ride. Gibbard enunciates his lyrics, which he writes almost exclusively in complete sentences, as the music grows and fades in unpredictable manners. We have all heard more than our fair share of verse, chorus, verse, soft, loud, soft, clichés that seem to pepper popular music every single year, but Death Cab doesn’t follow that convention.
With this in mind, I started wading through the eleven songs that make up Transatlanticism (hint, the C is soft like an S.) The album begins with The New Year. “So this is the New Year, and I don’t feel any different” From the bombastic guitar riff beginning to the breakdown I could feel that I was in for a ride. Expo ‘86 is a highlight, as it builds from the noodlings of Walla’s guitar that have become a staple in Death Cab’s sound. The contrast from the sparse notey section to the head-bobbing chorus is infectious, heavy enough to interest the indie/emo audiences without ever letting it rip enough to interest the hardcore/metal crowd, Death Cab do all they can to rock without officially rocking. To this point in the album, I can’t identify a new direction that the band has taken, but they haven’t written songs that sound like their previous work either.
The Sound of Settling is ok, and when I heard Tiny Vessels I thought it would probably be the highlight of the album. This takes us through track six. What I soon realized is that the album doesn’t even begin until Transatlanticism, the track for which the album was named. A strange rhythm, simplistic piano, and the naked voice of Gibbard. The intricate verses, the simplistic chorus, the building of a symphony out of hardly anything at all. This eight-minute exercise in layering is by far their greatest moment as a band, all the way through to the celebratory sing-along finish. “So come on.” It isn’t necessarily a sad song, especially by indie/emo standards which have been set by the likes of Dashboard Confessional, but it is such a mixture of feelings. Like a somber celebration or a glorious defeat, it tugs at a strand in your heart while telling you everything will be alright.
Transatlanticism acts like a gateway into the second half of the album. You almost forget that the first part even existed. Not since records and tapes have I seen such a Side A to Side B organization to an album. The only thing I can’t figure out is whether Transatlanticism should have closed out Side A or opened Side B.
Passenger Seat is the calm after the storm that was Transatlanticism. Death of an Interior Decorator seems like a throw-in song that is reminiscent of the “waltz” tunes that Elliott Smith does on XO. We Looked Like Giants, a song of college sexual experimentation raises the action level, no pun intended. “I would brave those mountain passes, and you’d skip your early classes and we’d learn how our bodies worked,” It is probably the most urgent song on the album before it resolves itself to a breathy finish. Which brings us to A Lack of Color to end the adventure with minimalist acoustic sparseness.
This album has a number of good songs, but it is amazing what one song can do for an entire album. Without Transatlanticism to bridge the gap from “Side A” to “Side B” and raise the emotional bar, I am not sure what my impressions of this album would be. Luckily, I don’t have to think about that.
(Transatlanticism comes out on October 7th from Barsuk Records)
01 The New Year
02 Lightness
03 Title and Registration
04 Expo ‘86
05 The Sound of Settling
06 Tiny Vessels
07 Transatlanticism
08 Passenger Seat
09 Death of an Interior Decorator
10 We Looked Like Giants
11 A Lack of Color
Random Lessons
Things I have learned in the last 24 hours:
Learn to be nicer to yourself, because self-awareness can manifest itself as the harshest possible form of self-criticism
If you hide pieces of who you are, depending on whom you are with, you might be misrepresenting yourself and not giving people a chance to like you
One of the most important questions that should be considered but never answered is: Who do you work for?
Moments can’t be forced, but when they occur, they should be noticed and appreciated
Songs are great, but the stories behind them, or associated with them are even better, even if they have nothing to do with the songwriter’s original intentions
Thinking the worst of people and situations is a negative way to go through life but it is an effective defense mechanism much of the time
Conversations should be premeditated because otherwise you could end up trying to interpret actions and situations that shouldn’t be interpreted under such a pretense
To not know where you are going is fine, but to never have considered it in the first place will lead you down a path to nowhere
Books, especially bad books, should still be finished on principle alone
Sacrifices are a part of any relationship, but deciding which things aren’t worth sacrificing is the hardest thing to do
People say you will find what you are looking for when you stop looking, but sometimes you can find it while being proactive, so do whichever one makes you feel best
An Ugly Truth in Mexico
The last night that I was in Mexico, I decided to bow out of the “festivities”, which could possibly have included eating paletas, which to the best of my knowledge is some form of goat meat wrapped in a tortilla. Instead I went back to the hotel to get ready for my early departure from Monterrey Mexico. I packed my suitcase, took a shower and started reading my book. A boring night indeed. At around 7:00 pm, I started getting hungry so I decided to go to Alita’s which is an American style food joint about 100 yards from the front steps of my hotel. Incidentally, due to the stench of some environmentally heated feces, 100 yards was about all I was willing to walk outside of the hotel.
So, I got into Alita’s and took a look at the menu and decided that my best option was the combo platter of buffalo wings and ribs. I ordered them (along with a Tecate beer) from the bartender, and he started asking questions in Spanish that I didn’t understand. I gathered from his waving and pointing that it was in reference to the food as opposed to the beer I had ordered. That’s when a nice gentleman sitting next to me who was obviously American asked me what temperature wing sauce I wanted. I said mild and he spouted off some sentence to the bartender in Spanish about what flavor Picante that I wanted. I thanked the man, and we started to converse.
Man: So where are you from?
Craig: I am in for the week from Cleveland. How about you?
Man: I live here. I was an expatriate but after five years, I am localized now.
For those of you who don’t know, an Expatriate is a special status for Americans working outside the US. It allows them to pay into social security and maintain a 401k, which normally wouldn’t be possible in a foreign country.
The conversation went like this for a while. He was a big burly man with hands that look like he had done plenty of work in his lifetime. The skin on his face was weathered, probably from years rotating between the dirt of a manufacturing floor and the sun. He told me about the bar he was going to open around the corner. He told me about the company he works for which is a major commercial and residential air-conditioner manufacturer. He told me all about his career all the way through to how he arrived in Mexico. Then he started telling me about Mexican culture.
Man: It’s a very different culture down here. The employees really don’t do much without being told.
Craig: I have noticed that the autonomy of the employees is really almost non-existent.
Man: That’s right. If you recruit any of the older employees you can forget about them being a positive contribution to your operations. They don’t have any idea how to think for themselves.
Craig: It makes sense really. They have a history of the boss being the king of their world and they would want to do anything they can to not defy them.
Man: That’s why human resources departments are such a joke here.
Craig: Why do you say that?
Man: If you are a manager, you end up doing all their “work.”
(as he throws his burly hands in the air with the clichéd quote signals)
Man: I mean if you are a manager you can get away with anything you want anyway.
I nod, pretending that I have some clue as to what he is referring, although I truly do not.
Man: It happens all the time down here. How do you think women even get promoted? It isn’t by their brains or their hard work. It’s about my “hard” work if you know what I mean.
By this point I am chuckling knowingly as my discomfort grows with every moment. This guy is relentless though. I am slowly becoming completely disgusted with this guy.
Craig: Yeah, I could see that happening down here with the relationship between managers and employees. It’s too bad that it is the most immoral thing that I can think of. I am such a guilty person that I would never be able to do it myself. (I laugh to try and cover up my mild criticism.)
Man: Yeah I could never do it either.
I didn’t buy it for a second. I am sure this late 40’s asshole has abused tons of women in his 5 years in Mexico. I mean he chose to LOCALIZE after being an expatriate for 4 years. Not only that, but he was looking to impart his “wisdom” to a complete stranger (me) as if I was going to be impressed or something. As if his “triumphs” in guilt-trip sex would make me respect him more as a man. Little did I know it was about to get worse.
Man: So, a young guy like yourself; what did you do down here all week?
Craig: Well, I went out to eat with some of my coworkers mostly and spent a lot of time in my hotel room reading.
Man: You didn’t get to the clubs downtown?!??
Craig: No, we’ve been working pretty hard down here all week.
Man: Well when you work hard you gotta play harder. At least that’s what I say.
Craig: (fake chuckling) You are right most of the time, but I figure there is a lot of trouble to be had down here. One of the things top on my list to not do on a business trip is get arrested in Mexico. I mean I figure US jails are bad, but Mexican jails have to be terrifying.
Man: You gotta know where you are going and who you are going with. You can’t leave Mexico without checking out the gentleman’s clubs.
Craig: I think I can and I probably will. Plus if you have seen one strip club you have seen them all. They are naked women.
Man: Oh shoot, man, you have no idea what I am talking about. These aren’t the type of places with dance floors, stages and poles. They are real clean and stuff, but the women just sit in a room downstairs, you choose which one you like and you sit next to her. Then for 2000 pesos (about $200 American) you can go up to a room with em. They are real nice rooms with showers and toilets and stuff. You get an hour to do whatever you want with em. They knock after about 50 minutes to give you time to “clean up.” (he did the damn quotes in the air thing again as he laughed)
By this point, he was laughing after every sentence, probably because I wasn’t responding very much and he had to do something to fill up the air that was left vacant by my lack of speech. All the while, I was doing an Oscar-worthy acting job so that he didn’t detect just how appalled I was by him. I am no angel. I have done plenty of bad things in my life, but I suspect this man is the scummiest of all scum in the history of the world. Lots have people have done worse, but think about it. This guy comes from one of the richest cultures in the world, to a country that is getting started in its economic development.
He is supposed to be one of the people responsible for helping to advance the economy of this developing country and he is too busy raping it, quite literally. Sure companies go down there because of the cheaper labor rates and everything, but Mexico is supposed to get something out of it too. $3 per hour doesn’t sound like a lot of money for laborers to be making, but it is better than any of them were doing a little while back. Over time, as more companies move production down there and the generations of laborers become more and more skilled, they should start getting more competitive wages. Until that happens, a door is left wide open for American losers like this guy to take advantage of the disadvantages that these people were sentenced with for the crime of being born. This guy is just as bad as the Americans who travel to those Asian countries to sleep with young boys. Despicable.
To wrap up the story, I got out of there. I conversed as politely as possible for a while longer, before asking for la cuenta (the check) and leaving. I had about a million things to say to this guy, but ultimately I couldn’t think of any benefit to saying them. This guy is probably too far-gone, and I would have been risking my health, maybe my life if I had told him what I really thought.
What would you have done?
I don’t like going to Mexico. It is poor, dirty, hot and smelly, but I don’t blame the people there. They are very nice, respectful people for the most part. They have a desire to work harder and get better as a society, generally speaking, and it really saddens me to hear about people taking advantage of them.
Friday Five (on Sunday)
This friday five is kind of weak, but here it goes anyway.
1. When was the last time you laughed?
I laughed this morning when I was watching the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. That was a real blast from my past. Corey Feldman was the voice of one of the turtles. Too funny.
2. Who was the last person you had an argument with?
I argued with the guy on my team last night when we were playing pool. We were playing two on two and while I was in the bathroom my friends on the other team convinced the guy who I was playing with that I was throwing the game in their favor. I wasn’t playing well, so he believed it. It was funny, but we argued.
3. Who was the last person you emailed?
Again, I am not sure. I actually had an email right after the blackout last week from someone at the New York Times who wanted to interview me. I emailed back and called, but got no response. I must have been too late. That is too bad. I would have enjoyed that.
4. When was the last time you bathed?
Last night before I went out to the bar where we played pool. It is 1:23 pm on Sunday and I haven’t bathed yet today. I have been working since about 9:30 am doing laundry and cleaning. Didn’t see much point for a shower until I am done with that.
5. What was the last thing you ate?
Due to the unfortunate illness I brought back with me from Mexico, I haven’t eaten much in the last two days. I had a really crappy salad at the Houston airport on Friday. I also had a bagel from Dunkin Donuts yesterday morning before the revenge of Montezuma set in. You can imagine what kind of day I had yesterday. I know. I just gave you all way too much information.
The Anti-Metal
If your house was overtaken by some teenage metal-heads obsessed with Metallica and the like, what would you play to rid yourself of them.
Dawn Olsen tried Sea Change by Beck and finally used the Smiths to some success.
My suggestions for getting rid of metal-ridden teenagers:
Milli Vanilli - No explanation needed
Happy Family - This is a japanese progressive jazz band that sometimes sounds like they threw 1000 tin cans down a flight of stairs.
Barbra Streisand – The Christmas Album – This album has been torturing me because of my family for years now. It is by far the worst and most obnoxious version of crack-head jingle bells I have ever heard.
Air Supply – This Australian duo can turn any metalheads brain to mush in two seconds flat with their plethora of hits that had the word “love” in the title.
Michael Bolton – His long hair and cheesy hits are almost a direct mockery of metal boys hairdos everywhere.
Got some more?
Blackout Photo
I am not sure where this came from because someone emailed it to me. If someone knows who should get credit for this photo, I will be more than happy to credit the right people. In the meantime, how freakin cool is that?
(Except for the one dot that should have been my home of course!)
Search Terms (8/21/2003)
Ok, normally I get a lot of traffic for people who are looking for things that I might have written about. Most of these things will appear as links over on the left under Blog Highlights. I wrote about those things and I don’t mind turning up in google searches about them. BUT, every once in a while I will see that someone got to my site by typing in something that I absolutely have NOT written about, nor would I want to write about. I would prefer not to generate this kind of traffic.
So, to the guy (or girl) who was searching for the sentence “girl$ ordered to $trip n@ked” please go somewhere else. I don’t want you here, and I don’t have anything of the sort that you were looking for.
Actually, I have even better advice. Do the world a favor and kill yourself. If you can’t find girls who will willingly get n@ked for you, then you are hopelessly lost and should probably just kill yourself.
I will make myself available to write your obituary.
Thank You!
(All those words were written with different characters so I won’t show up with those phrases in weirdos’ future searches.)
