VMA Rundown by ME!
The nominees for the MTV Video Music Awards (VMA’s) have been released. In honor of that, I would like to go over who I think should win and why. That’s right, I am naming myself “the academy” for these awards. What are you going to do about it? I didn’t choose every category, because I don’t really care about cinematography, editing, etc.
Video Of The Year
50 Cent, “In Da Club”
Eminem, “Lose Yourself”
Johnny Cash, “Hurt”
Justin Timberlake, “Cry Me a River”
Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott, “Work It”
Craig’s Winner - Eminem - “Lose Yourself” - There is no way this video should lose. I am barely even a rap fan and I saw this video probably 30 times. And, how many times did you hear the song this year? Exactly! I wanted to vote for Johnny Cash because that video is cool, but it isn’t the video of the year unless he dies before the awards. Then out of respect we should give it to him.
Best Male Video
50 Cent, “In Da Club”
Eminem, “Lose Yourself”
John Mayer, “Your Body is a Wonderland”
Johnny Cash, “Hurt”
Justin Timberlake, “Cry Me a River”
Craig’s Winner - 50 Cent - “In Da Club” - I mean come on how many times did he get shot? The video was completely pervasive. I would like nothing more than to give the award to a rock band or something, but in this case, it can’t be done. John Mayer, please stop your Dave Matthews impressions. We only need one marbles in his mouth balladeer with happy feet.
Best Female Video
Avril Lavigne, “I’m With You”
Beyonce f/ Jay-Z, “Crazy in Love”
Christina Aguilera, “Dirrty”
Jennifer Lopez, “I’m Glad”
Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott, “Work It”
Craig’s Winner - Christina Aguilera - “Dirrty” - I will admit that this is just my man-ness speaking. Her transformation from a “Genie in a Bottle” to hooker in a boxing ring, won her this award. Her parents will be proud.
Best New Artist In A Video
50 Cent, “In Da Club”
All-American Rejects, “Swing, Swing”
Evanescence f/ Paul McCoy, “Bring Me to Life”
Kelly Clarkson, “Miss Independent”
Sean Paul, “Get Busy”
Simple Plan, “Addicted”
Craig’s Winner - Evanescence - “Bring Me to Life” - This one was a tough call between 50 Cent and Evanescence, but I had to (finally) award a rock band. The video is cool and the song is the best on this list along with “In Da Club”. I will go in favor of proper spelling for this category because last time I checked “Da” didn’t mean anything unless maybe you are speaking Russian.
Breakthrough Video
Coldplay, “The Scientist”
Floetry, “Floetic”
Kenna, “Freetime”
Queens of the Stone Age, “No One Knows”
Sum 41, “The Hell Song”
Craig’s Winner - Coldplay - “The Scientist” - When I heard that they almost didn’t make this album because they didn’t think any of the songs were good enough, I was astounded. This is one of the most complete albums I have heard in a decade, and this is one of the best songs on said album. Queens of the Stone Age are a close second. Floetry and Kenna? Who are you and what are you doing in a category?
Best Rap Video
2 Pac f/ Nas, “Thugz Mansion”
50 Cent, “In Da Club”
Eminem, “Lose Yourself”
Ludacris f/ Mystikal, “Move B***h”
Nas, “I Can”
Craig’s Winner - 50 Cent - In Da Club - It is a tossup between Eminem and 50, but I am going to go with the new guy this year. I must say it was enticing to pick the politically correct “Move Bitch.” Well, maybe Ludacris and the boys can win next year with some other song about abusing women. Hey wait a minute, I thought 2 Pac died going on a decade ago?
Best Hip-Hop Video
Busta Rhymes f/ Mariah Carey, “I Know What You Want”
Jay-Z f/ Beyonce, “‘03 Bonnie & Clyde”
Missy “Misdemeanor” Elliott, “Work It”
Nelly, “Hot in Herre”
Snoop Dogg f/ Pharrell & Uncle Charlie Wilson, “Beautiful”
Craig’s Winner - Nelly - “Hot in Herre” - I am not sure what “herre” means or why this guy talks like that, but it is by far the catchiest song in this category, plus it had a callback to “the roof is on fire” joke in the video. How could you vote against that? By the way, I am not sure when Missy Elliott’s skinny evil twin took over her career, but she still has crappy songs, no matter how cool the video looks.
Best Dance Video
Christina Aguilera, “Dirrty”
Jennifer Lopez, “I’m Glad”
Justin Timberlake, “Rock Your Body”
Mya, “Your Love Is Like…Wo”
Sean Paul, “Get Busy”
Craig’s Winner - Sean Paul - “Get Busy” - I don’t really like this song at all, but you can tell from hearing it that it will soon be the soundtrack for the next few Girls Gone Wild videos. Any song that can entice spring break co-eds to strip naked and inexplicably turn into lesbians is ok by me. By the way JT, you need to stop emulating that alleged kid molester. Just because you are both white doesn’t make you brothers.
Best Rock Video
Evanescence f/ Paul McCoy, “Bring Me to Life”
Good Charlotte, “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous”
Linkin Park, “Somewhere I Belong”
Metallica, “St. Anger”
The White Stripes, “Seven Nation Army”
Craig’s Winner - Evanescence (I guess) - “Bring Me to Life” - Couldn’t we get a better selection than this? The White Stripes are an acquired taste that looks more like a dying fad to me. Good Charlotte are not quite Green Day yet. Linkin Park is formulaic to the point of boring. Metallica’s new album flat out sounds bad even if you tell me “you made it sound like that on purpose.”
Best Pop Video
Avril Lavigne, “Sk8er Boi”
Christina Aguilera, “Dirrty”
Justin Timberlake, “Cry Me a River”
Kelly Clarkson, “Miss Independent”
No Doubt, “Underneath It All”
Craig’s Winner - Kelly Clarkson - “Miss Independent” - I award this to Kelly Clarkson in hopes that if she wins something she will finally go away. I can’t believe someone can be nominated for a video award after making the worst movie of all time. Avril is disqualified for being stupid with the title of her song and not knowing how to pronounce David Bowie’s name. I don’t care how young you are. Shame.
MTV2 Award
AFI, “Girl’s Not Grey”
Common f/ Mary J. Blige, “Come Close”
Interpol, “PDA”
Queens of the Stone Age, “No One Knows”
The Roots f/ Cody Chesnutt, “The Seed 2.0″
Craig’s Winner - Queens of the Stone Age - “No One Knows” - This video flat out rocks. I want to bang my head when I hear it. If you are so desperate that you need to have someone else carry your artistic load with a guest spot, I will not allow you to win. I mean really, have you ever seen Weird Al Yankovic “featuring” anyone? I think not!
Viewer’s Choice
50 Cent, “In Da Club”
Beyonce f/ Jay-Z, “Crazy in Love”
Eminem, “Lose Yourself”
Good Charlotte, “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous”
Justin Timberlake, “Cry Me a River”
Kelly Clarkson, “Miss Independent”
Craig’s Winner - Write in Vote - The Real World: Las Vegas - I love the “reality” of a bunch of strangers hanging out in a penthouse room in the Palms in Vegas. I mean those Maloof’s know how to build a hotel and throw a party. What’s more realistic than that?
What do you mean I can’t vote for the Real World? It IS on MTV right? I have never seen any of these videos on MTV, but I always catch these reruns of the Real World, or Road rules, or God forbid, the Real World vs. Road Rules Challenge. My vote stands. I SAID IT STANDS!
Comments
While I agree tht Avril Lavi…whatever her name is, is stupid..and should die in a plane crash..no wait cool people do that..she should die from the pen of the person who really writes her songs that she takes credit for, I disagree about the White Stripes fading out. I definately had to acquire a taste for them, but now the hunger is there and not going away! Good call on voting for Real World…do they really show videos on MTV?
why would you vote eminem video of the year and then 50 for male video when they are both in both categories? it makes no sense. also, johnny cash has done more in his lifetime than any of the other artists ever have. he should win. no doubt. kick ass video. eminem is starting to annoy me.